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30 Things I'd Rather Do Than Attend The University Of Alabama

What does 'Roll Tide' even mean?

Madison Rysdon

Feb 12, 2018

Clemson University

250

30 Things I'd Rather Do Than Attend The University Of Alabama

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Recently, an Alabama student released an article providing reasons for why Alabama is a better school than Clemson. Rather than fight back with obvious reasons for why Clemson is always better (we have a higher ranked 2018 recruiting class, just sayin'), here are some things I'd much rather do than attend the University of Alabama:

1. Wear low-rise jeans

2. Forget the existence of every Vine I've ever watched

3. Eat a tide pod

4. Sign up for all 8 am classes

5. Lick the floor of a frat house

6. Attend the University of South Carolina

Okay, debatable.

7. Show up to Chipotle, only for there to be an extreme shortage of guac

8. Listen to Nickelback on repeat

9. Walk to class in the pouring rain without a rain jacket

10. Shower only in cold water

11. Try to find an available parking spot on campus

12. Eat dining hall food for the rest of my life

13. Go without napping for a straight week

14. Cancel my Netflix subscription

15. Participate in email chainmail

16. Hit every red light while running errands

17. Hold a conversation with Lil Pump

18. Walk uphill in every direction

19. Drink orange juice after brushing my teeth

20. Shave off my left eyebrow

21. Drink a Four Loko

22. Have my car break down on 85

23. Open the washing machine to see my laundry has been stolen

24. Never pet a dog again

25. Get hit in the head with a full, flying beer can at a darty

26. Listen to Ross Geller say, "We were on a break!"

27. Attend a Taylor Swift concert

28. Drink expired milk

29. Drive around a crowded parking garage for hours upon hours

30. Listen to people cough extremely hard during an exam

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30 Things I'd Rather Do Than Attend The University Of Alabama

What does 'Roll Tide' even mean?

1. Wear low-rise jeans

2. Forget the existence of every Vine I've ever watched

3. Eat a tide pod

4. Sign up for all 8 am classes

5. Lick the floor of a frat house

6. Attend the University of South Carolina

7. Show up to Chipotle, only for there to be an extreme shortage of guac

8. Listen to Nickelback on repeat

9. Walk to class in the pouring rain without a rain jacket

10. Shower only in cold water

11. Try to find an available parking spot on campus

12. Eat dining hall food for the rest of my life

13. Go without napping for a straight week

14. Cancel my Netflix subscription

15. Participate in email chainmail

16. Hit every red light while running errands

17. Hold a conversation with Lil Pump

18. Walk uphill in every direction

19. Drink orange juice after brushing my teeth

20. Shave off my left eyebrow

21. Drink a Four Loko

22. Have my car break down on 85

23. Open the washing machine to see my laundry has been stolen

24. Never pet a dog again

25. Get hit in the head with a full, flying beer can at a darty

26. Listen to Ross Geller say, "We were on a break!"

27. Attend a Taylor Swift concert

28. Drink expired milk

29. Drive around a crowded parking garage for hours upon hours

30. Listen to people cough extremely hard during an exam

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

Told through Parks & Recreation GIFs

Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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