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12 Things I'd Rather Do Than Write About Politics

All these options are much more desirable.

Jane Niland

Nov 14, 2018

Rider University Millennials of New Jersey

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12 Things I'd Rather Do Than Write About Politics

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I've said this before, and I've said it again. I. HATE. POLITICS. Whether it's being demonized for being a moderate in a radical time, or simply the headaches from reading the news, I hate politics so much, and no, pestering me about voting isn't going to lessen that hatred (even though I did), or make me rant about whatever unpopular opinions I have like so many people on here are doing now. You can't make me! All these options are much more desirable:

1. Have the Fire Alarm in my Dorm go off for the Nth Time

Please, while I'm in the shower or working on something important.

2. Fill a Martini Glass with Nando's Extra-Extra Hot Sauce and Chug

I write better than I talk anyway, I could stand to lose the use of my mouth for a few days.

3. Have to Memorize and Recite a Long Poem

I'll just have a "Vietnam Flashback" to Poetry Out Loud in high school real quick where I burst into tears at the end...

4. Take Another 8 A.M. Class

Nothing some coffee won't fix.

5. Be Forced to Listen to "Closer" on Repeat

I've made it known to people I know how much I HATE that song...

6. Not Sleep for 3 Days

It's happened before, and it's unpleasant

7. Attempt to Eat Fruit

Politics make me heave anyway. Maybe it's better to actually cough something up.

8. Get Around to Getting my Wisdom Teeth Pulled

I've gotten a tooth pulled before, and it sucks…

9. Publish the Experimental Writing story that I Hate

It was one of the dumbest ideas I've ever had, and it apparently turned out beautifully. And maybe... If Odyssey was nicer about fonts.

10. Have The FBI Look Through my Search History

I'm not a psycho, it's research for writing, I swear.

11. Have to Write an Article Every Day

And I'd run dry within about a month.

12. Step on Several Legos

This one seems obligatory on any article where one lists things they'd rather do than something else, but it's accurate. I'd bear that pain than write a political article.

There you have it. If you've made it this far, you know you're not getting any of that nonsense out of me.

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12 Things I'd Rather Do Than Write About Politics

All these options are much more desirable.

In This Article:

1. Have the Fire Alarm in my Dorm go off for the Nth Time

2. Fill a Martini Glass with Nando's Extra-Extra Hot Sauce and Chug

3. Have to Memorize and Recite a Long Poem

4. Take Another 8 A.M. Class

5. Be Forced to Listen to "Closer" on Repeat

6. Not Sleep for 3 Days

7. Attempt to Eat Fruit

8. Get Around to Getting my Wisdom Teeth Pulled

9. Publish the Experimental Writing story that I Hate

10. Have The FBI Look Through my Search History

11. Have to Write an Article Every Day

12. Step on Several Legos

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Actually, Kylie Jenner, 2018 is the year of realizing things.

1. Waking Up Early in College is So Much Harder

2. You Have to Get Used to Walking Everywhere

3. Fuzzy Socks are the Cure to All Problems

4. Take Every Opportunity to Get Free Food

5. It's Okay to Gain the "Freshman Fifteen"

6. Invest in Vitamins and Supplements

7. Making Time to Clean is Essential

8. Drinking Water is Actually Important

Cs get degrees!

1. Me after every class

2. If you really care about your grades

3. When you get a new homework assignment

4. When people ask what you're going to do after college

5. When you see people who don't study and get good grades

6. We're all broke here

7. FREE FOOD IS FREE FOOD!

8. When it seems like everyone in class is smart - EXCEPT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR GROUP PROJECT!!

Other than knowledge and all those important things

How to take stairs.

Caffeine is your friend.

How to study.

Finding free food.

How to take a nap anywhere.

How to appreciate sleep.

How to procrastinate productively.

Surprise: This is not on the syllabus

1. As a freshman, one does get to be called “freshman” by upperclassmen when they walk to parties in a mob of people.

2. Some of the best stories happen after 2 a.m.

3. Upperclassmen live for meal swipes from freshman because they are poor and need free food.

4. People are struggling just as much as you are so you're not alone.

5. You will never take privacy or personal space for granted ever again.

6. You are not the only one who has slept on the community bathroom floor after a night out.

7. Skipping class for Netflix is a valid excuse.

8. It’s totally acceptable to bring a pot of coffee, a sleeping bag and a pillow to the library.

9. Having class with a friend is the best because you can trade off days on who goes to class.

10. When you are a senior, you take the easiest classes to boost your GPA.

11. How to pull an all-nighter.

12. How to handle drunk people.

13. The drunk you does not look out for sober you about 90 percent of the time.

14. How to deal with a hangover.

15. How to interact with people very different from you.

16. The perfect amount to procrastinate on every assignment.

17. How to pass a class without paying for the textbook that was "required."

18. How to calculate your grades to see what you need on every test in order to maintain a passing grade.

19. How to hook-up with someone without getting emotions involved (but we all know that doesn’t happen).

20. How to handle your roommate when you want to strangle them.

21. That you miss your parent’s every day.

22. How to get into a bar when you aren’t 21.

23. How to BS on assignments, out loud and on your resume.

24. That theme parties are the greatest.

25. How to find free events that have free food.

26. That when there are puppies on campus it will be the greatest day of your life.

27. Alarms are necessary and you must set like seven of them in order to wake up in time for class.

28. Greek parties are exactly how they are in movies.

29. Care packages are treated like Christmas presents.

30. The friends you meet in college will become your bridesmaids and groomsmen.

31. That printers only break when you need them the most.

32. Cereal, ramen noodles, Easy Mac and microwavable pancakes can be used for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

33. That classes before 8 a.m. should be illegal.

34. Changing your major is OK.

Don't let the thesaurus-inspired vocabularies in our résumés fool you. We're actually just big kids.

"You should know exactly what career is right for your future by the time you're 18."

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