We did it, college students! We have officially reached the end of the semester and are now plunging into the fiery hell that is finals week - or in some cases, month.
While it is a sign of summer being nearby, there are dozens of stresses that come along with the end of the semester. Quite frankly, I would rather do a whole bunch of other horrid activities than participate in finals week. Here are just a few.
1. Sleep for a month
Me when I get home after the semester ends.
This one is not so awful. Honestly, I would love this. Instead of not sleeping for a month, I vote we all do the opposite.
2. Watch "Avengers: Endgame" three times in a row.
Will I cry the same amount of tears that I would during finals week? Yes, so why not take this route instead.
3. Get a sunburn.
Getting a sunburn means I would be outside rather than inside studying and taking finals. I would much rather suffer the consequences of being outside than failing finals.
4. Jump in the middle of the ocean and encounter a rare, evil-looking fish.
This little thing? Wouldn't phase me.
I'm talking about a fish that looks like the piranha from "Finding Nemo." I wouldn't have enough energy to swim away, so I might as well just let it swallow me.
5. Listen to "Old Town Road" on repeat.
Not the remix. Imagine having to listen to "Old Town Road" without Billy Ray Cyrus. Pure torture.
6. Eat elementary school cafeteria food for the rest of my life.
Those lunches still haunt me, so it says a lot that I would still eat these meals.
7. Spray tan President Donald Trump.
I feel as if this one speaks for itself.
8. Hang out with my middle school bully for a week.
They attempted to be friends with me last year, but I turned them down for obvious reasons. Despite how rude they were to me, I would much rather hate my life for a solid week than stress for a month.
9. "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" every time someone says the word "you".
My arms would get tired so quick, but I would become a pro at this dance.
10. Watch Trisha Paytas sing "Shallow" for ten hours straight.
The video is absolutely iconic and I would love to learn how she sings as *beautiful* as she does.
11. Swap out my entire wardrobe with camo print items.
Me putting on a fashion show with all my new camo wardrobe.
I already have a pair of lucky camo Crocs, so why not add on to my collection?
12. Be body slammed by John Cena.
I wouldn't be able to see him, but I'm sure it would be better than finals.
13. Listen to James Charles sing "Womp womp woooomp" for two hours a day.
Don't get me wrong, I love sister James, but this is not his best sister singing moment. At least if I did watch it every day, I could perfect my impression of him.
14. Shave my head like the icon Britney Spears.
The older I get, the more I understand her desire to suddenly shave her head. Sometimes a haircut is the best way to restart your entire life.
15. Watch the entire "Twilight" series back to back to back without being allowed to make fun of the acting.
Maybe I'll see details I never noticed before, or maybe I will fall asleep. Who knows, but either way I am not doing any work!
Reality is, I know I won't be able to swap out finals for any of these options. These next few weeks may seem never-ending, but it will all be over before we know it. Keep pushing through!
The minimum wage is not a living wage.
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