If you are lucky to have the "syllabus week," that is beloved by so many students, then you know it is mostly pointless and incredibly repetitive. What better way to start off the semester, right? For most students, it's a painless week of just showing up to your first classes and having the professor read off a piece of paper of what their course is going to be like. It is very boring for the most part, but there is usually little to no work involved for the student.
Now, as a senior at Louisiana State University, I have had my fair share of these weeks and I can confidently say: they are all the exact same. So here is a short run down of what to expect if you have never encountered a syllabus week before, or if you have shared the same experiences.
1. "Go around the room and introduce yourself to the class."
Yes, even students at 18-21 years old are forced to undergo the middle-school way of going around the room and saying their name and a "fun fact" about themselves. After age 17 this should be considered as a form of torture.
2. "If that is a problem, then don't take my class."
It's basically a universal threat used by all professors.
3. "I once had a student who..."
Professors always use a past story as an example of usually what not to do in their class. And it's always some weird story that makes you question if they are making it up or not.
4. "You will be given only X amount of unexcused absences. USE THEM WISELY!"
It's because they know that most of us will most likely not "use them wisely."
5. "If you don't show up to class, you WILL NOT pass."
This infamous line is usually used by the teachers who don't have mandatory attendance.
6. "That's just the school's policy, not mine."
They usually say this like their Pontius Pilate or some other person known for not wanting to take the blame.
7. "DO NOT EMAIL ME WITH QUESTIONS THAT THE SYLLABUS CAN ANSWER."
Professors are ruthless about this. So if you ever have a question, I highly advise that you thoroughly read through the syllabus to see if it can answer any questions you have before emailing your professor.
8. "I do not want to see your phone or laptop out during my class unless I say so."
If you're lucky your professor will be cool with having laptops out for taking notes. I was not so lucky.
9. "If you ask me to reschedule your final, you better be dying."
Make sure you are 100,000% free on your exam days, especially for your final exam. Most professors show no mercy when it comes to missing exams.
10. "If you are late to my class then you are not welcome in my class."
Only the really cut-throat professors live by this, but if you are one of the unlucky individuals who have this type of professor you better make sure you do everything in your power to get to that class. If I had a dollar for every time I've shamelessly sprinted through the parking lot to get to class on time, I'd be able to pay for my tuition AND have groceries.
