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If You're Pale, You Will Probably Relate To These 6 Things

A small shout-out to all my porcelain teapots. You're beautiful.

Netanya Joy

Sep 10, 2018

West Chester University

307

If You're Pale, You Will Probably Relate To These 6 Things

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Going back to school each fall and seeing the beautiful golden-brown complexions everyone received over the summer is something that pale people have gotten used to. A great tan is a sign of a summer well-spent, well, in tan people terms, that is. By now you've probably come to embrace your porcelain complexion, so bravo to you. Nothing shows maturity like being able to laugh at yourself.

1. Your tan is a tan person's pale.

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When you do get a faint tan line, it's a monumental moment in your life. Of course, your friends will probably laugh and tell you to go lie in the sun some more.

2. No light colors, absolutely not.

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Wearing colors that are too light risk flushing out our already light skin tone. On the bright side, at least you won't need an invisibility cloak in broad daylight.

3. Beach trips in general just aren't a priority.

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Your more tan-inclined friends may not understand, but in the end you know it's what's best for you.

4. No sunscreen = LOBSTAH

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You do NOT want to show up to class like this, so put that sunscreen on and bear it.

5. And spray tans aren't even an option.

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Nope.

6. But no one rocks dark colors like we do.

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Flaunt what you've got.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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14 Things The Extremely Pale Are Tired Of Hearing

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Everyone has insecurities, that's just a fact. You didn't ask to be born this way. You didn't ask to inherit the one trait no one else in your family has. And you definitely didn't ask to be this ghostly white. But as soon as you've learned to live with it for a while (less wrinkles later on in life, right? right???) someone has to ruin it for you. They have to flaunt they're perfectly tanned body from Spring Break and hold their sun-kissed skin against yours. But I've had enough... here are the things that perpetually pale individuals are tired of hearing.

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If You're Pale, You Will Probably Relate To These 6 Things

A small shout-out to all my porcelain teapots. You're beautiful.

In This Article:

1. Your tan is a tan person's pale.

2. No light colors, absolutely not.

3. Beach trips in general just aren't a priority.

4. No sunscreen = LOBSTAH

5. And spray tans aren't even an option.

6. But no one rocks dark colors like we do.

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!