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Politics and Activism

10 Things Only Conspiracy Enthusiasts Understand

Do you mean, Public Intelligence Analyst?

Gabrielle Marie Simpson

Feb 21, 2017

College of Charleston

10 Things Only Conspiracy Enthusiasts Understand

Twitter

Fanatic? Theorist? The term conspiracy enthusiast may be more fitting. Who doesn't love a good scandal? But really, there are those who accept things for what they are, and then there are those who don't. If you're one of the latter, I'm sure you can appreciate whats ahead. If you're one of the former, here's a look inside our heads. I promise we're overall pretty normal, we just have a penchant for conspiracy. Here's thirteen things only conspiracy lovers will understand

1. Seeing triangles and other symbolism in public reminds you that everything is a social and cultural construct

(The triangle represents the all seeing eye if you didn't already know.)

2. When you have to hold a conversation with someone who isn't woke and you just:

3. Not being able to watch a music video without piecing together references to the Illuminati

4. Talking to fellow conspiracy enthusiasts because the social hierarchy puts you in the position to act on none of your social injustices, so it's all you can do

5. Seeing ads on social media for items you recently talked about in private

But Seriously, this is freaky. Coincidence? I think not.

6. Going to the grocery store with your Mom to make sure she only buys foods that are organic, gluten free, non GMO, additives free, preservatives free AND dye free.

If only that were actually possible.

7. Reminding your best friend on every phone call that you're probably being listened to by the government

8. Always checking the internet for the latest news & info like:

Am I the only one who feels the World is in chaos right now?

9. Bringing up "The 13th" Documentary in your class discussion on government

It's just the perfect example of systematic oppression and conspiracy in our government.

10. Being either an arts or humanities major because it satisfies your thirst for thinking outside the spectrum

12. Seeing something suspicious and making sure you have the evidence to show your best friend later

I might as well become a detective.

13. When you try to explain the impending doom that will grip the entire globe to your co-worker, but they just look at you like

Stay woke ya'll.

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10 Things Only Conspiracy Enthusiasts Understand

Do you mean, Public Intelligence Analyst?

1. Seeing triangles and other symbolism in public reminds you that everything is a social and cultural construct

2. When you have to hold a conversation with someone who isn't woke and you just:

3. Not being able to watch a music video without piecing together references to the Illuminati

4. Talking to fellow conspiracy enthusiasts because the social hierarchy puts you in the position to act on none of your social injustices, so it's all you can do

5. Seeing ads on social media for items you recently talked about in private

6. Going to the grocery store with your Mom to make sure she only buys foods that are organic, gluten free, non GMO, additives free, preservatives free AND dye free.

7. Reminding your best friend on every phone call that you're probably being listened to by the government

8. Always checking the internet for the latest news & info like:

9. Bringing up "The 13th" Documentary in your class discussion on government

10. Being either an arts or humanities major because it satisfies your thirst for thinking outside the spectrum

12. Seeing something suspicious and making sure you have the evidence to show your best friend later

13. When you try to explain the impending doom that will grip the entire globe to your co-worker, but they just look at you like

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

Told through Parks & Recreation GIFs

Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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