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Politics and Activism

10 Things Only Conspiracy Enthusiasts Understand

Do you mean, Public Intelligence Analyst?

Gabrielle Marie Simpson

Feb 21, 2017

College of Charleston

10 Things Only Conspiracy Enthusiasts Understand

Twitter

Fanatic? Theorist? The term conspiracy enthusiast may be more fitting. Who doesn't love a good scandal? But really, there are those who accept things for what they are, and then there are those who don't. If you're one of the latter, I'm sure you can appreciate whats ahead. If you're one of the former, here's a look inside our heads. I promise we're overall pretty normal, we just have a penchant for conspiracy. Here's thirteen things only conspiracy lovers will understand

1. Seeing triangles and other symbolism in public reminds you that everything is a social and cultural construct

(The triangle represents the all seeing eye if you didn't already know.)

2. When you have to hold a conversation with someone who isn't woke and you just:

3. Not being able to watch a music video without piecing together references to the Illuminati

4. Talking to fellow conspiracy enthusiasts because the social hierarchy puts you in the position to act on none of your social injustices, so it's all you can do

5. Seeing ads on social media for items you recently talked about in private

But Seriously, this is freaky. Coincidence? I think not.

6. Going to the grocery store with your Mom to make sure she only buys foods that are organic, gluten free, non GMO, additives free, preservatives free AND dye free.

If only that were actually possible.

7. Reminding your best friend on every phone call that you're probably being listened to by the government

8. Always checking the internet for the latest news & info like:

Am I the only one who feels the World is in chaos right now?

9. Bringing up "The 13th" Documentary in your class discussion on government

It's just the perfect example of systematic oppression and conspiracy in our government.

10. Being either an arts or humanities major because it satisfies your thirst for thinking outside the spectrum

12. Seeing something suspicious and making sure you have the evidence to show your best friend later

I might as well become a detective.

13. When you try to explain the impending doom that will grip the entire globe to your co-worker, but they just look at you like

Stay woke ya'll.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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10 Things Only Conspiracy Enthusiasts Understand

Do you mean, Public Intelligence Analyst?

1. Seeing triangles and other symbolism in public reminds you that everything is a social and cultural construct

2. When you have to hold a conversation with someone who isn't woke and you just:

3. Not being able to watch a music video without piecing together references to the Illuminati

4. Talking to fellow conspiracy enthusiasts because the social hierarchy puts you in the position to act on none of your social injustices, so it's all you can do

5. Seeing ads on social media for items you recently talked about in private

6. Going to the grocery store with your Mom to make sure she only buys foods that are organic, gluten free, non GMO, additives free, preservatives free AND dye free.

7. Reminding your best friend on every phone call that you're probably being listened to by the government

8. Always checking the internet for the latest news & info like:

9. Bringing up "The 13th" Documentary in your class discussion on government

10. Being either an arts or humanities major because it satisfies your thirst for thinking outside the spectrum

12. Seeing something suspicious and making sure you have the evidence to show your best friend later

13. When you try to explain the impending doom that will grip the entire globe to your co-worker, but they just look at you like

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Sometimes these things are both necessary and inevitable.

1. Spending their money - when they actually don't have any.

2. Take naps. Lots of naps.

3. Staying up late binge-watching a Netflix show when you have an early class.

4. Skip a class to do something completely unnecessary.

5. Putting all your homework off for the night before it's due just so you can do nothing for a night.

6. Going out on a Thursday night when you have a test the next day.

7. Making impulsive decisions.

8. Write an important paper in one night.

9. Classifying Ramen as your main food group.

10. Going on late night food runs - and I mean really late.

11. Having more than 3 cups of coffee a day.

12. Doing really dumb, irresponsible things when out with your friends.

13. Finishing an entire show on Netflix in less than a week.

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1. Chad from Sigma Why

2. Accepting questionable solo cups from any male whatsoever

3. Wasting all your dining dollars within the first two months of school

4. Going to the busiest library when you need to grind out a 15 page paper

5. Skipping class frequently

6. Avoiding taking the bus. You are never too cool to utilize campus transportation.

7. Stressing over assignment after assignment

8. Sitting in your dorm when everyone else is out having fun

9. Staying in your comfort zone

10. Being a douche to everyone

Chances are, they have nothing to do with what you're actually supposed to be learning.

1. "I'm Tired."

2. "How many absences do I have left?"

3. "Did we have any homework?"

4. "Why is it so cold in here?"

5. "I'm hungry."

6. "What grade do I need to make on the final to get an A?"

7. "What time is it?"

8. "I want Starbucks."

9. "How is this going to help me in the future?"

10. "Will anyone notice if I leave early?"

11. "I really need to go to the bathroom."

12. "This class is so boring."

13. "I can't wait to take a nap after this."

I just know that the idea of releasing vault tracks came out of the moment Taylor remembered she wrote 'Is It Over Now?'

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The Brutally Honest Friend:

The Pretty One:

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