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30 Things I Will Never Do Again

Take it from the expert on dumb behavior.

Kirstin Winke

Sep 06, 2016

Capital University

ADF International

I don’t have much experience of success in my twenty one years of life, but I definitely have someone accumulated a variety of things that I am sure that I will never do again. Here’s a list of 30 things I would highly advise against doing.

Fall asleep on a beach without sunscreen
Test how waterproof a phone really is
Ride a spinning ride after eating lunch
Pierce a genital
Buy a cheap bike lock
Put off a research paper until the last day
Attempt to drink 21 drinks in one night
NOT SAVE MY HOMEWORK BEFORE MY LAPTOP DIES
Pour gasoline on a fire to get it to light
Stop taking an SSRI cold turkey
Beer before liquor…
Go grocery shopping when hungry
Click on something tagged NSFW … at work
Eat collard greens
Date someone out of loneliness and not for love
Attempt to go a whole day at Cedar Point without eating lunch
Enter a wasabi eating contest
Enter a ghost pepper eating contest (IT WAS IN THE SAME WEEK. DID I LEARN? NO)
Take a spin class
Not believe a kid when they say they saw a masked man outside
Visit a cemetery at midnight
Stay with someone who cheats
Polyamory
Work out on empty stomach
Drink 4Loko
"I don't have to write it down, I'll remember!"
Take a caffeine pill
Eat collard greens
Apply Gold Bond to raw thighs
Canoe up a river

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30 Things I Will Never Do Again

Take it from the expert on dumb behavior.

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25 reasons your last semester in college is the best and worst time of your life

"The Office" understands the struggle of the first week back from winter break.

1. Waking up for your first 9:00 a.m. class of the semester.

2. When you remember you have to walk in the freezing cold to your classes.

3. Feeling overly confident in your academic abilities on the first day of classes.

4. Walking into your first class and seeing friends from your major.

5. That moment when you open the syllabus packet to see what possible pain lies ahead.

6. You resent the professors that keep you for the whole class time on the first day.

7. When professors tell you too much about their personal lives on the first day of class.

8. When your professor tries to explain the benchmark assignment to the class.

9. Finding out the final exam in a class will be comprehensive.

10. When you're done with classes for the day and you finally get to take a nap.

11. Finding out a required textbook is out of stock at the bookstore.

12. When you're broke after buying your textbooks for the semester.

13. When you realize that you really need to start getting PATH points...

14. Impatiently waiting for all of your classes to be up on Isidore.

14. The realization that this semester will be harder than you anticipated...

15. Getting overly excited for going out on the first weekend back from break.

Each Disney Princess has their own personality, and chances are you've got a friend in your group to match it.

Cinderella, “The Clean Freak”

Snow White, “The Friendly One”

Belle, “The Studious One”

Mulan, “The Fighter”

Pocahontas, “The Peace Keeper”

Sleeping Beauty, “The Sleepy One”

Rapunzel, “The Sheltered One”

Tiana, “The Independent One”

Ariel, “The One Who Is Shy Around Men”

Elsa, “The Mom”

Anna, “The Impulsive One”

Say yes to new adventures!

It's full of opportunities to learn more things.

It's one of the easiest times to make friends.

It helps you learn how to think critically.

You get to focus on what you want to study.

Class is minutes away from your dorm.

. . . and the library

You won't be judged for going to class in your PJ's

You will truly create yourself.

If you are an ISU student, you will come across most of these things during your time on campus.

1. The wait for Buffalo Wild Wings is always going to be long on Thursday nights.

2. Another inevitable wait — the line at The Pub II on Wednesdays.

3. Your feet will automatically stick to the floor at Chasers.

4. The only place busier than The Alamo II during finals week for book returns is Chipotle on Halloween.

5. The. Train. Never. Stops. Choo-chooing.

6. The wind tunnel never gets better, and you never get used to it.

7. Your friends are either from a suburb of Chicago or a small town in Illinois — there is rarely an in between.

8. You know and probably love a bearded man named Bill Shields.

9. The squirrels on the quad double as our second mascot and wannabe pets.

10. The only time you really find yourself at the library is for a group project or during finals preparation.

11. You can spot a freshman a mile away if they have on their Fear The Bird shirt along with a lanyard around their neck.

12. The Normal Police Department has collected $275 from you.

13. Last, but not least, is that you just don't know what you would've done if you went anywhere else.

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