My roommate Krista, has said some ridiculous things over the years I've known her, so I thought I would share some of the craziness with others.

"Yeah, those twins are platonic."

Krista was explaining that Ashton Kutcher and his twin look nothing alike, and this is what came out of her mouth.

"The opposite of bread is soup."

Foolishly out of curiosity I mused on what the opposite of bread would be. Without missing a beat, she replied "soup." There was no reason as to why.

"I am a GENIOUS."

She was really trying, but spelling is hard.

"I could be a spy."

This was in reference to the fact that while driving a van with another van, she was able to keep track of the other van from in front of them. There was no explanation before she decided to just say this out loud.

"Because I am cold."

Sure, this seems normal out of context, but this was her response to "Why are you wearing napkins on your legs?"

"A snapback is a response to a Snapchat, right?"

She was confused.

"Josh is in place, Fireplace.”

While assistant stage managing Extremities, Krista was to inform the stage manager that all actors were "in place." The actor Josh's place just happened to be in a fireplace. She thinks that she is funny.

"I know I almost lost my thumb today, but if I had broken my iPod, that would have been the worst thing that happened to me today."

She had cut her thumb on a table saw, and also dropped her iPod in the same day. This was in 2015 and she was still using an iPod.

"My hair is so soft."

This had as much context as when she decided to say this.

"Did you know that 50% of people with British accents aren't actually British; they are just trying to sound fancy."

Again, no context. This was just said out loud.

"I didn't know you couldn't use the microwave as a timer."

She ran the microwave with nothing in it because she is actively trying to murder me.

"I hate parades.”

This is one of the first things she ever said to me. I will never forget it.

Despite all this, I have lived with her for almost two years. It should be noted,however, that we are not friends on Facebook.