Growing up I was blessed with having a beautifully accepting family. From the moment I was born, my parents enlightened me with their accepting perceptions on life. My mother has always been a tenacious feminine role model for me as I grew into the woman I am today; I often try to emulate her actions as well as my aunt and grandmother who share the same headstrong and accepting personalities. My father is a sensitive male role model for me. He introduced the idea that men are not all stupid, although my mom could disagree sometimes, but men can also be sensitive and protective. He has always assured me that I am secure and that I should approach situations with confidence and determination. He also educated me that I am worthy of the world and should accept nothing less.
I have also had the privilege of growing up with not only two brothers, but also three male cousins who had opened my eyes about gender equality. My grandmother had always treated every single one of us equally; there was NO favoritism when it came to being in trouble. Looking back I appreciate her proceeding with these actions because it had made me tougher and she had portrayed me as someone who was as strong as a male and not something fragile for them to gang up on. Throughout my 20 years on this planet my parents have taught me a couple things:
1. You are strong
No matter how difficult things become you will always have the strength to endure it. The pain is only temporary, and in time you will heal the wounds that you have acquired. Sometimes these wounds are deeper and more excruciating than others, and some will take more time but in the end you will have built up an abundance of strength that will aid you in the next difficult decision or situation that you have to make.
2. Your opinion matters
Don’t let anyone tell you that what you say is meaningless. Your opinion is just as important as a man’s or anyone else’s for that matter. If you believe in something so passionately you are allowed to speak your mind. There is an amendment for that, you know.
3. Being a woman does NOT make you inferior
My dad would always say that it was my mom who was in charge of the household because of her ability to take charge and make the difficult decisions. My mom told me that I have every skill or potential that a man has and have every equal opportunity to get an occupation or something I wanted as any man. My father also told me that I am just as important as any man and that I possess so many wonderful qualities that could aid me to be successful.4. No matter what, you are beautiful
My parents from a very young age has assured me every day that I am beautiful, not to build vanity but to build the confidence that every woman should possess. I remember grieving over the fact that I didn’t mirror the women in Victoria’s Secret catalogs or was toned like the women in Nike ads. I would sit in my bedroom and weep over the fact that boys didn’t find me pretty. My mom would hug me and wipe my tears and say, “Brooke you are so beautiful and one day you will see it.” Twenty years later I can see what she is talking about, I have built the confidence from my father and her reminding me that everyone is created in the image of beauty.5. No one is worth crying over
Through the relationship hardships that young adults endure in middle school, high school and even after high school there has been a plethora of crying. There have been plenty of heartaches and tears that I have gone through but my parents have always comforted me by saying “No one is worth crying over.” and they are right. Everyone has the right to be independent and not rely on someone to take care of him or her. Crying will not change the situation and it won’t bring the person back but if you take the initiative to be strong and continue living your life then you are doing it right.
6. You’re responsible for your own happiness
You can only be happy if you yourself can make yourself happy first. The key to a happy life is to first be happy with you and be confident in yourself. No one can make the decision for you. You have to take the initiative to do things that make you happy and make yourself smile. That is what is most important in self-assurance.
7. If you work hard, you will succeed
both my parents worked crappy jobs when I was younger but still managed to put food on the table and make our Christmas’ a happy one. Although they both worked their asses off and managed to get huge promotions on both ends. I have watched my mom come home miserable for over ten years but still manage to get everything done around the house and take care of my two brothers and myself. Finally, she was rewarded with a hefty promotion and now is very important in her job and holds a very impressive title. My father also worked his ass off and managed to get a new job and a promotion. My parents are both very hardworking individuals and managed to engrave that idea of determination and hardworking behavior into my brain. Things do not come easy and you should work hard on your path to success.Being away at school two and a half hours away, it sometimes gets difficult not seeing my parents. My mom always texts and calls me, but it isn’t the same. My parents have always told me “we are with you in spirit” and they couldn’t be more correct. When I struggle with a situation I take a deep breath and can silently hear my mom telling me to have courage or to just calm down. Or my dad was telling me a joke or a movie quote so I can smile that day. They are always with me in spirit even if they can’t be with me physically.
8. No one can determine what you can and cannot do
No one has the ability to tell you that you can’t do something. It is not someone else’s decision to stop you from pursuing your dreams; you have every ability to follow what you are passionate about. You have the strength, determination, courage, skills, diligence and everything in between to fulfill what you want to do the most. You have the power to change the world and make a difference; it’s just a matter of how you’re going to accomplish it.9. Everyone around you is human.
They mirror the same emotions as yourself, even if they don’t mirror your reflection. Whether it be someone transgender, gay, bisexual, a different ethnicity, a different race and so on, we all possess the same emotions and feelings. We were all created as human beings so what gives anyone the right to treat someone like they are not? What gives anyone the right to dehumanize other people just because they are different? How come society projects the idea that different is acceptable but when someone is different it is seen as obscene and offensive? If it doesn’t affect you then why should you go out of you way to destroy it? My parents taught me that you should be accepting of everyone with open arms. To treat everyone with kindness and respect but as soon as someone disrespects that right then they don’t deserve the kindness anymore.
10. Don’t judge others
Piggybacking off of the accepting portion, my parents have also taught me not to judge other people. In society nowadays, it seems they have made a sport of judging women on their appearance. It has always been prevalent but in the last ten years it has become extremely astonishing. There is shaming thrown in from everywhere. “Too fat” “ too skinny” “too short” “that dress makes her look fat” “that dress makes her look ugly” just so many judgmental terms that has been degrading women and it happens to men too. Every gender has fallen victim to constant verbal degradation and slander. Don’t judge people based on appearance, it’s how they treat other people that are most important. Give everyone a chance (unless it is Donald Trump).Thank you Mom and Dad for this wonderful advice that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I love you dearly.
