When you are 23 and single and you go home for holidays or attend a cousin's birthday party, there is always that one question that everyone asks you, "Are you seeing anyone?"

No, I am not. I am not actively seeking to date anyone. It does not bother me that I am single.

However, it does make me think. Whenever someone asks me who I'm dating or if I'm dating, I can't help but reflect on my past relationships.

"Was it something I said?"

"Why did it end so abruptly?"

"How do they feel about me now?"

I've really only had two serious relationships in which I knew I was in love. There has been a few other relationships where I may have thought about love or been really happy but for a number of different reasons, it ended.

Through the serious relationships, the flings, the short term relationships, and the random two weeks worth of texting in hopes of it becoming more than that, I've been told some things by these guys both good and bad that have changed the way I look at others.

1. "Stop trying to fix me..."

When I was with my second serious boyfriend, this is what he would tell me, kind of a lot. When I look back at it now, I realize that he just did things differently than me. His family situation wasn't ideal, and he didn't try his best in school so I pushed him to be better. At the time, I felt like it was making him better, but what I know now is that I can't want something for someone who doesn't want it for themselves. He didn't care enough to try so why did I keep trying to fix him?

2. "You're too bossy."

Yes, I can be pushy but too bad -- I am who I am. Maybe you should just stick up for yourself a little more. Looking back on my high school boyfriend telling me this my junior year, I can't help but laugh. I like to be in control, but I hardly think that's a negative thing.

3. "Sorry I can't fit into your world!"

I had an ex yell this to me after we left a nice dinner. I mean, maybe I grew up with a family who taught me basic manners and liked fine dining, but reminding you to put the napkin on your lap half way through dinner shouldn't seem so crazy?

4. "I love you. I just don't think I love you enough"

Well...this was upsetting. It made me feel like I myself was not enough or not worthy of love at all. But now I think about this and realize that if he loved me at all and it made me happy then I cannot wait to feel the love of someone who truly loves me the way I need them to.

Bottom line is this: I have learned some great lessons. All these guys weren't the right ones because of the above statements and more, but I thought I was happy, even for a short time.

So when I do truly feel that magical happy feeling that people talk about, I'll know.