I was one of the lucky ones... The ones who managed to slip through the cracks of "ugly" early on in high school and were looked at as attractive far before I was deserving of that title. Because of this, I was given my fair share of attention by all kinds of people. Through the years, I have lived through the many courting tactics of men that vary from catcalling to chivalry and everything in between. With my expertise, I bring you my list of the things that men do to appear hot, that are really... Well... NOT! Check out the things that made the cut below:

1. The Lip Licker:

The age old question: Why do men lick their lips so much?

As explained on Twitter: To lubricate their lies...

NOTE: It is still hot when LL Cool J does it!

2. The "aye red shirt!" guy:

WRONG! Because I have a name and you're rude...

3. The guy who grabs his junk all the time for no apparent reason at all:

Please... Wash your hands before attempting to shake mine.

4. The "Oh you got a man? I just want to be your friend" guy:

Here's the gag... I told you that I had a boyfriend so you WOULDN'T talk to me, not to hear your extensive list of alternative relationship options.

5. When they compliment a woman's body straight out the gate:

You pretty much just told me that the possibility of me having a great sense of humor and awesome conversation wasn't one of the reasons you approached me...

6. When they try to use "teaching me" something in the gym or otherwise sports related as an excuse to introduce himself:

Did I do it right that time?

7. Those late night texts and phone calls when you don't even know me like that, bro:

What she said...

8. The guy who is always posting videos of himself grinding on air on social media:

It's so unattractive that it's actually pretty funny.

9. When he goes out of his way to show off his material things:

Because some of us couldn't care less about those things.

10. When he doesn't bring me chocolate strawberries looking like this:

Because how dare you, sir?