Just over a month ago, in a moment of boredom and brilliance, I created a Tinder profile, but with all lizard pictures instead of pictures of myself. Then, when guys messaged me, I responded as if I were a lizard. What started out as a stupid joke has become an enlightening study on boys, Tinder and society. Here are just a few things I learned from this whole experience.
1. More boys will match with a lizard profile than you might expect.
Starting out, I had no idea how many matches the profile would get. I “swiped right” to like everyone I came across. If they swiped right too, it would be a match. On Tinder, you get about 100 likes every 12 hours, and I would match with around 50 guys of those 100 likes. The number of matches with my profile grew quickly, and within a few days I had over 300 matches. Now, I’m not an expert on Tinder, but I know that way more boys than anyone would expect will “swipe right” to a lizard. Today, the profile has just over 1200 matches.
2. Even MORE boys will message a lizard profile than you'd expect.
At first it seemed like guys just matched with the profile because they thought it was funny. I didn’t think anyone would actually try to message my lizard self, let alone seriously pursue it. I was wrong. I have been messaged by countless guys, some just ignoring the fact that I have all lizard pictures, some complimenting the pictures, and some just jumping right in and asking me out on dates. It disturbs me to think that a lizard might have as much if not more success on Tinder than a girl with a regular profile.
3. Some boys really care about what you look like.
For every boy who messaged me asking me out, there was a boy who messaged me immediately demanding “real pictures” of myself. I understand that some guys might not be comfortable with not being able to see what someone really looks like. What I don’t understand is why they would match with someone with all lizard pictures if they cared so much. Most of the guys who wanted to see pictures of me would quickly get pretty heated when I maintained that I was, in fact, a lizard and that the pictures on my profile were of me, which leads me to my next discovery.
4. Boys will get irrationally angry over a lizard Tinder profile.
On Tinder you can report profiles for a few reasons, such as inappropriate pictures, or spam messages. Being a lizard does not fall under any of the categories of misconduct. Despite this fact, my profile was reported so many times that my account was suspended and put under review. Twice. Both times, of course, I got my account back with no problem because there isn’t any rule against pretending to be a lizard. More than one boy swore at me, threatened to block me, or got angry when I refused to show real pictures of myself. Once again, I understand that not everyone gets it or thinks it’s funny, but they all chose to match with and message the lizard.
5. Tinder might actually be the worst thing on Earth.
I don’t want to be dramatic but Tinder is such a black pit of death and despair that just a month of having a fake profile has drained my soul. I know lots of people actually meet good people on Tinder, but after this experience I cannot imagine using Tinder to actually find someone to date. Maybe it was just the guys that the lizard profile attracted, but the behavior and quality of guys was dismal. This little social experiment has only confirmed that I will never use Tinder for real.