My husband and I have been married for nine months now. I know in the grand scheme of things this isn’t very long, but I feel like I have matured years beyond where I was then. Thinking even further back than that, this whole relationship has been one giant experience of growth.

There are so many things I started doing that I never did before we started dating. In celebration of Valentine’s Day, here are some awesome things my husband taught me since we met.

To manage my finances.

When I met Jason, and even a year or so after that, my financial situation was truly the worst. I would celebrate if my account hit triple digits, and there was more than one occasion where I was in the red. He taught me how to save money. Turns out it’s actually not that hard.

To turn a negative into a positive.

No, I’m not still talking about my bank account. I was probably the world’s most negative person when I met my husband. I sincerely believe that. I could take the best day, and make it miserable in less than 15 seconds. It used to really bother me that Jason wouldn’t agree when something was terrible. But over time his looking on the bright side of things rubbed off on me. It’s a lot easier to find the good in every situation. Even when you accidentally spend $1,000 of your wedding money on something stupid the day after you get married. (A story for another day, friends.)

To let myself be helped.

I used to think asking for help made me weak. And if I did ask for it, I felt like whoever was helping me had other motives, and that there was some reason they were helping me. He had to explain (more than once) that he just loves me and wants to make my life easier, even if he has to go out of his way to do so. Being with someone means sharing life’s burdens. I can’t believe how much weight came off of my shoulders once I accepted this.

To be confident.

I don’t think anyone outside of my parents and grandparents had ever told me I was smart or how capable I was until I met Jason. I rolled my eyes at first, but he didn’t stop telling me until I finally believed him.

To stop caring so much about what people think of me.

I am a people-pleaser by nature. I hate when I think people don’t like me, and will let them walk all over me just to prevent it. On more than one occasion he’s reminded me that not everyone has to like me, and that’s okay.

To swallow my pride.

For the record, he didn’t tell me I had to. I just have learned that sometimes you just have to love the person more than the point you’re trying to make. It’s not worth it to be right.

To put my head down and work.

No matter how much he has going on, or how hard of a day he has at work, he doesn’t say a word. I would ask him why he wasn’t grumpy, he’d say that he can’t change it, so why complain? I learned that despite how hard what you’re going through is, being negative won’t do anything but make it harder. I really needed this lesson.

Shoutout to you Jason, for making me so much more tolerable as a human being.