Life is a roller coaster and it teaches you a lot about who you are, what to expect, and how to cope. So with that in mind and having just had a birthday, here are 19 things that I have learned in my 19 years of life.
1. Sometimes you meet people that you click with, that encourage you, and that help you grow. They can be the most unexpected people, but they always help you see the world differently and teach you a different way to approach life. Shout out to my best friend, for showing me a new perspective on life and loving me even in my short-comings. And my HS mentor, for giving me the advice that I hated to hear because it was the advice that I needed to hear.
2. Sometimes these people aren't meant to stay in your life (& sometimes they hurt you). Sometimes the people that you feel the greatest connection to can do the worst damage, but it is all in the name of growth. If I hadn't been hurt by these people, in the way they hurt me, I wouldn't have grown into who I am. And though the hurt is hard, I would rather live a life when I am constantly growing than living a life where I stay the same.
3. Forgiveness promotes growth. I know I have focused a lot on growth, but it is a major part of life. Everyday you are changing and growing. That means everything can affect how you grow, even forgiveness. This one was a hard lesson for me to learn. I have been through a lot of heartache caused by numerous people, some more than others. Allowing myself to be bitter for so long hindered my growth, and prevented me from seeing the bigger picture. Forgiveness is hard, but once you let go of that hurt and let yourself heal, things become clearer.
4. Life is more than about what degree you receive, how skinny you are, or how much money you make: so live in the moment and cherish your life. Ed Sheeran lyric's come to mind in particular, from his song What Do I Know?, "Just reremember life is more than fittin' in your jeans. It's love and understanding, positivity." So cherish the here and now, and don't worry so much about the future because you aren't there yet.
5. Don't just live in your comfort zone, you won't get very far in life. I lived in my comfort zone for years, never pushing myself to do things that scared the crap out of me and never expanding into my true potential until I pushed myself to do the hard things. We were never meant to live in a small bubble of comfort because as we do uncomfortable things, our comfort zones expand and guess what? That causes growth in us!!
6. Trust God, all the time. This is one is the most important lesson that I have learned. If I don't trust God, things end up in chaos. He helps to be my calm even when things get messy. His plans will always be greater than my own. He knows what I need before I need it and he knows my heart better than anyone. He is the only person I can fully count on when I need a hand.
7. Making God my true love. I learned that this needs to be important to me and it needs to be a priority. He loves me with a pure love. He went to the cross for me. He died for my darkest sins...and I can't love Him? I can't make Him my true love? He deserves a love that I can't even give to Him so I'll just give Him all that I have because that is exactly what He did for me.
8. God time needs to be a priority. If I don't spend time with God, things won't flow. For me personally, I am more prone to sin when my thoughts haven't be dedicated to some quiet time with the Father. God time is what can make a bad situation, seem not so bad. God time can make my crappy attitude, a lot happier. Plus, He deserves this time because of what He did for me at the cross.
9. Find time for adventure. Sticking to the same old routine is boring and sometimes some adventure is exactly what you need in life. At least, this has been true for me. Mixing things up and doing something different always gives me a boost of energy that I didn't know I had or maybe that I needed in that moment.
10. Spend as much time as you can with the people you love. As I think about where I will be a year from now (Texas), I realize that I won't be able to see these people nearly as often as I do now. Which is scary to say the least; so be with your friends and family every opportunity you have. Cherish the moments you have to be with the ones that are most important to you. Sometimes I need to just have an adventure with these people even when I have no energy. Just the other day, I was out till one in the morning with some of the most life-giving people that I have ever met and we just drove along, laughing, just having a good time. This is a memory that I will carry with me in my journey to come and this is something I am so thankful for.
11. School is not more important than my happiness. In high school I always felt like the school didn't care about my sanity, what other classes I was taking, whether I had a job, or if there were family issues at home. They threw on too much course work and only really focused on how to better teach the extroverts of the class though group work or speeches... as if being an introvert was frowned upon or something. My point is, it took me a long time to realize that school is not everything and I can't get hung up on it. I can't let myself get burnt out over it. I have to make time to make sure that I am healthy and happy even if it means that I don't finish the homework assignment or my paper is a little too short or whatever it is. My mental stability will always come first from now on.
12. I don't have to be pretty like anyone else, I just have to be pretty like me. Everyone is different and everyone has flaws, but everyone is beautiful. I think we forget that. I know I have time and time again. I have spent a lot of time comparing to myself to my friends, the girl sitting across the classroom in my Psychology class, or that one celebrity that I look up to. Sometimes I still do, I have to remind myself that I am pretty and beautiful even if I don't have a thigh gap or a thin stomach. I am me and that always needs to be enough.
13. Not all you do in life will be life giving. Sometimes you're going to hate the things you have to do, but you have to try and make the best of it because there are valuables lessons to be learned in all that you do.
14. It's okay to be a little selfish sometimes, but always make God first. Sometimes you focus too much on other people and making them happy that you neglect yourself altogether. I spent a lot of time giving especially in friendships and it always left me empty. So make time to do things you love, but just remember to glorify God in all you do.
15. You don't have to like everyone you meet, but you do have to love them because Christ loved us. I have been told that I have to like people because we're not suppose to hate them. But I don't hate them. I love them because I want to love the way that Jesus loves me, but I definitely do not have to like them. Maybe our personalities clash, maybe we disagree strongly on something, or maybe we're just too different. None of that matters in the grand scheme of things because we are called to love all of God's children because God loves them too!
16. You have to fail because that's how you learn and improve. Failure means there is room to improve yourself or improve how you do things.
17. Having an open mind is important. If you maintain a narrow mindset, you won't try new things. And if you don't try new things, you won't learn new things or fail. Thus, how do you improve?
18. Judgement is unnecessary. Everybody always judges everybody, but God tells us that judgement is not for us but for him to determine. So accept people and help them; do not condemn them for their choices but encourage them to seek truth.
I read something once, a conversation between a mother and a daughter. They were talking about how we judge people immediately upon seeing them and the mother said something along the lines of, "it's not the first thought that matters, but the thought that comes after that." For instance, you see someone and your first thought is that she is too skinny or something, but it's your second thought that defines your judgement. Do you continue to rebuke her internally? Or do you change your mindset?
19. Always love yourself.
