As I am sitting on my couch writing this with my foot elevated and constricted from the boot that it is in, all I can think of, besides the pain, is that I am surprised that this has not happened to me sooner. I am the person whose friends and family expect injuries to happen to at any time and usually from the most ridiculous of circumstances. On my Thanksgiving break, I am stuck sitting on the couch and relying on my parents for rides just like back in high school, because if I had to hurt any foot, of course, it had to be the one I drive with. This is all because I was walking off a sidewalk in Syracuse to simply put my suitcase into the trunk of a taxi, but fell off the curb instead. The remainder of my break will now consist of me coming up with a much more heroic or exciting story to explain how I severely bruised the bone in my foot. Living life as a klutz is a life that no one can truly understand unless they are one. Here are some things that you can only really understand if you are a klutz:
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1. You bump into everything...And I mean everything!
It's as if all furniture, stairs, counters, desks, etc. are out to get you.
2. Two words: Black. Ice.
With winter approaching, so is the worst nightmare of all klutzes in the Northeast. As if walking wasn’t hard enough, let’s just add ice to the mix. When I sit on the ground (after falling, of course) at one of the coldest schools in the country, I question my criteria for college that ended me up at Syracuse... AKA "The Danger Zone".
3. You say "OW" after everything even if it doen't hurt at all.
You just get so used to saying it all the time that it comes out even when you place your hand on a counter.
4. Your friends and family are so used to you bumping into or tripping over things, that they don't even give you a second glance or question you when something happens.
This is not The Boy Who Cried Wolf syndrome, pay attention!
5. When carrying food, moving at snail's pace while staring it down to make sure it doesn't escape your grasp is the only option. But don't forget the uncontrollable shaking.
We all love food, but for a klutz, carrying it yourself can only lead to a no win situation. Whether it ends up on you or on the ground, it's just best to leave the task of carrying your tray to someone else.
6. Speaking of food, odds are that not all of it will end up in your mouth.
It's as if the food jumps of your utensil and chooses to land in the same exact spot on your chest...Every. Single. Time.
7. Your iPhone, if not brand new, probably is not the first of its kind.
I am now on my third iPhone 6 because of the dreaded "Cracked Phone." It's an unavoidable lifestyle if you are a klutzy person.
8. The idea of walking in front your class causes anxiety.
This needs to be avoided at all costs. The idea of standing in front of a classroom of people making a presentation is scary, but the process of getting up there with all eyes on you? Horrifying.
9. When someone sees your clumsiness in action, the rudest thing they can ask is if you're okay.
Friends and family can ask if I am okay, but strangers: Do not look at me. Do not talk to me. Nothing happened.
10. Stairs are not your friend.
Whether you are walking up or down them, stairs are by no means a safe place.
11. Walking when sober is hard enough, so when you add something else to the mix, falling is inevitable.
To all the clumsy people out there, stay safe my friends, and good luck this winter!
