High expectations

2020 has shown us all that plans can change on a dime. We all had to put our lives on hold and stay home for two months.

Trips were canceled, colleges shut down, visits with family and friends were prohibited, and everything was stripped away in the blink of an eye. I kept getting upset by the predicament and kept expecting things to become normal by a certain date, only to be disheartened by the outcome again.

I also want to stop placing such high expectations on myself. I am my own worst critic, I will place the bar up so impossibly high when it comes to myself. Then when I cannot reach it, I beat myself up mercilessly. I want to stop giving myself such high expectations.

I cannot be nor will I ever be perfect, and I can't fix all my and others' problems on my own - that goes for you too.

So for 2021 and on, I want to lower my expectations and be content with what happens. I need to be flexible and not expect things to work out perfectly or exactly to plan.

Negative outlooks

This year, I want to be better about being positive.

Even if the year sucks or things are crappy around me, there's no reason for me to be like Eeyore and spread more negativity around. I want to try and be content and spread joy wherever I go. I want to be happy and bring happiness to others.

I don't want to be the reason someone else gets even more down in the dumps - I want to be the reason they got to smile.

Not to say there won't be days where everything sucks and the most I can do is get out of bed. On those days I want to spread a more accepting outlook on myself. Rather than beating myself up for being 'lazy', I want to know that it's okay to be in a rut and that I cannot be negative with myself all the time. I need to work on how I talk to myself.

Worrying about the future

For a considerable amount of my life, I have been a worrier. It has only gotten worse every year. 2020 was, beyond, out of control. That is totally normal given the circumstance of the world.

However, I would always be worried about something. Once one thing was okay I'd worry about the next thing. I worry about everything and everyone. It keeps me up at night. It's to the point where I cannot even be in the moment with the people I love. So, this next year I am going to TRY to leave worrying behind me.

I want to live in the present.

This will be the hardest thing for me to do, but I want to work towards being able to not worry so much.