I have waited a long eighteen years to exercise my right to vote, and I get this pile of crap. Although I did vote so that I can complain whenever the person I voted for isn't president and the one who wins does something I don't agree with, I have compiled a list of things I'd rather experience than have either Presidential candidate become the President of the United States.
1. Take the ACT/SAT fourteen more times
2. Be vegan
3. Go on a road trip with Todd Christley or Kim Kardashian
4. Fail a class
5. Delete my Netflix or Hulu account
6. Use toilet bowl water as nose spray
7. Watch 50 Shades of Grey with my dad
8. Wear my hair like Deb from Napoleon Dynamite
9. Only listen to screamo bands for the rest of my life
10. Throw away all of my oversized t-shirts and leggings
11. Walk through a thorn bush naked
12. Go to Disney and only be allowed on the "It's a Small World" ride
13. Develop an allergy to water
14. Have jean clothing as pajamas and swimsuits
15. Never have access to SnapChat or Instagram filters
16. Get an eyelid or lip tattoo
17. Like my ex boyfriend's girlfriend's Instagram post from four years ago
18. Swallow twenty-seven watermelon seeds every time I ate watermelon
19. Have Donald Trump's spray tan
20. Wear a shirt from Aeropostale
21. Pour lemon juice in a paper cut
22. Be a murder suspect on Dexter
23. Have Taylor Swift write a song about me
24. Drink sour milk
25. Go camping in the winter and only pack underwear
26. Take a lukewarm shower
27. Watch Derek and Mark die again on Grey's Anatomy
28. Take seven laxatives
29. Eat spam/potted meat
20. Bite into ice cream
21. Clean a gas station's bathroom
22. Be given hot tea when ordering sweet tea
23. Walk barefoot on a fire
24. or legos
25. Never have the "skip ad" option
26. Make "Kiss Me Through The Phone" my ringtone
27. Try to make eye contact with Fetty Wap
28. Accidentally click a banner ad
29. Untangle headphones
30. Wear a wet bra for consecutive days
31. Get my hand stuck in a pickle jar trying to reach the last one
32. Cheer for the Alabama Crimson Tide
33. Get a colonoscopy
34. Get a nose job done in a third world country
35. Find a parking space at a big university
36. Participate in a marathon
37. Use rubbing alcohol as moisturizer
38. Have no internet access for a week
39. Burn my tongue every time I drank coffee
40. Be unable to boil water
41. Live off of stale chips
42. Use the wrong form of "they're, their, there" and "your and you're" every single time
43. Listen to Tomi's final thoughts
44. Lose a contact in my eye
45. Argue with Kanye West
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