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45 Things I'd Rather Experience Than Have Either Candidate Be The Next President

A compiled list of things I'd rather endure than have Clinton or Trump be our next president.

Mattye Crowder

Nov 07, 2016

Judson College

45 Things I'd Rather Experience Than Have Either Candidate Be The Next President

Wikimedia Commons

I have waited a long eighteen years to exercise my right to vote, and I get this pile of crap. Although I did vote so that I can complain whenever the person I voted for isn't president and the one who wins does something I don't agree with, I have compiled a list of things I'd rather experience than have either Presidential candidate become the President of the United States.

1. Take the ACT/SAT fourteen more times

2. Be vegan

3. Go on a road trip with Todd Christley or Kim Kardashian

4. Fail a class

5. Delete my Netflix or Hulu account

6. Use toilet bowl water as nose spray

7. Watch 50 Shades of Grey with my dad

8. Wear my hair like Deb from Napoleon Dynamite

9. Only listen to screamo bands for the rest of my life

10. Throw away all of my oversized t-shirts and leggings

11. Walk through a thorn bush naked

12. Go to Disney and only be allowed on the "It's a Small World" ride

13. Develop an allergy to water

14. Have jean clothing as pajamas and swimsuits

15. Never have access to SnapChat or Instagram filters

16. Get an eyelid or lip tattoo

17. Like my ex boyfriend's girlfriend's Instagram post from four years ago

18. Swallow twenty-seven watermelon seeds every time I ate watermelon

19. Have Donald Trump's spray tan

20. Wear a shirt from Aeropostale

21. Pour lemon juice in a paper cut

22. Be a murder suspect on Dexter

23. Have Taylor Swift write a song about me

24. Drink sour milk

25. Go camping in the winter and only pack underwear

26. Take a lukewarm shower

27. Watch Derek and Mark die again on Grey's Anatomy

28. Take seven laxatives

29. Eat spam/potted meat

20. Bite into ice cream

21. Clean a gas station's bathroom

22. Be given hot tea when ordering sweet tea

23. Walk barefoot on a fire

24. or legos

25. Never have the "skip ad" option

26. Make "Kiss Me Through The Phone" my ringtone

27. Try to make eye contact with Fetty Wap

28. Accidentally click a banner ad

29. Untangle headphones

30. Wear a wet bra for consecutive days

31. Get my hand stuck in a pickle jar trying to reach the last one

32. Cheer for the Alabama Crimson Tide

33. Get a colonoscopy

34. Get a nose job done in a third world country

35. Find a parking space at a big university

36. Participate in a marathon

37. Use rubbing alcohol as moisturizer

38. Have no internet access for a week

39. Burn my tongue every time I drank coffee

40. Be unable to boil water

41. Live off of stale chips

42. Use the wrong form of "they're, their, there" and "your and you're" every single time

43. Listen to Tomi's final thoughts

44. Lose a contact in my eye

45. Argue with Kanye West

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7 Ways to Make Your Language More Transgender and Nonbinary Inclusive

Making the world safer through language.

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With more people becoming aware of transgender and non-binary people, there have been a lot of questions circulating online and elsewhere about how to be more inclusive. Language is very important in making a space safer for trans and non-binary individuals. With language, there is an established and built-in measure of whether a place could be safe or unsafe. If the wrong language is used, the place is unsafe and shows a lack of education on trans and non-binary issues. With the right language and education, there can be more safe spaces for trans and non-binary people to exist without feeling the need to hide their identities or feel threatened for merely existing.

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6 Signs You're A Workaholic

Becuase of all things to be addicted to, you're addicted to making money.

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Recommended for you

45 Things I'd Rather Experience Than Have Either Candidate Be The Next President

A compiled list of things I'd rather endure than have Clinton or Trump be our next president.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

It's Been a Long Winter Break

Making the world safer through language.

1. Use singular they for people whose pronouns you don't know, people who use those pronouns, and stop using him/her.

2. Stop using the words "opposite sex" or "both sexes" or "opposite gender" or "both genders".

3. Ask people's pronouns when you meet them.

4. Use the word cisgender.

5. Stop saying "born a boy/girl" about a transgender or non-binary person.

6. Stop using the term 'preferred pronouns'.

7. Stop using a transgender or non-binary person's dead name.

Sometimes, we just can't help the feelings we have

1. Wow. My voice sounds amazing with this song.

2. Okay, if you can't sing, don't do it.

3. But wait, I don't think I can be friends with someone who isn't going to jam out in the car with me.

4. Dance part in the car! Even when I'm alone. Because every song is my favorite.

5. Stop light. Act calm. Be cool.

6. Yes! Green light! Back at it!

7. I don't know this song, but I'm going to sing along anyway.

8. Why am I not famous yet?

9. Being next to someone who can't sing so you feel good about yourself because you rock!

10. OK, I'm so good. I need to sing louder so I can help these people out.

11. My voice doesn't reach some of those notes, maybe I should sit this one out.

12. Randomly bursting out in song and getting weird looks because of it.

13. God, thank you so much for giving me a good voice.

14. Man, I feel bad for people who can't sing.

15. Was I just humming? Did they hear me?

16. Having dance moves to go along with most songs.

17. Not being able to stop yourself at correcting people when they mess up.

18. Maybe I should post myself singing.

19. Nah, can't do it. Dumb idea.

20. Having my own personal concert in the shower. Every single time.

Normal people wouldn't understand

1. Having time to nap between classes or at all.

2. Waking up 10 minutes before your class starts and making it there in time.

3. Making it to class in general

4. Only having to hit the snooze button three times.

5. When you didn't do the homework and the teacher decides not to collect it for that day.

6. Getting that "I'm sorry, but class is cancelled" email.

7. Finding a quiet seat in the library.

8. Actually enjoying a class and understanding all of the material.

9. Having a friend to eat lunch with.

10. Finishing an assignment before the due date.

11. When there is free food on campus.

Becuase of all things to be addicted to, you're addicted to making money.

1. You can't remember your last day off.

2. Whenever someone asks to hang out, you're working.

3. When you do see your friends, you're in a "treating mood."

4. You work so much you don't have time to spend the money you're making.

5. You're too tired to function when you aren't working.

6. Finally seeing your friends and having way too much to catch up on.

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