Lessons I Learned By The Time I Turned 21 | The Odyssey Online
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Student Life

21 Things I Learned By The Time I Turned 21

Life is a constant cycle of ups and downs; for every down, there's an up. Believe that everything will work out as it should.

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There's a saying that the older you get, the wiser you become. During your adolescent years, life is relatively simple. Your biggest worries usually revolve around getting good grades, family and typical angsty teen drama from time to time. However, when you get tossed into the real world, things become, well, real. There is so much to learn about life, love, relationships, family etc. Every day is a learning experience, and sometimes even the most seemingly insignificant moments carry the greatest lessons.

1. Some friendships are formed because of convenience, not because there was a genuine connection. 

Think about it. How many people were you friends with in Pre-K to 12th grade that you haven't talked to since graduating high school? A lot of people you considered your friends only had that title because you saw them every day or because they lived right down the block from you.

2. Having one or two close-knit friends is just as good, if not better than having a large group of friends. 

One of the biggest misconceptions in the world is that in order to be happy or not feel alone, you have to have this giant group of friends. Over the years, I have found that having just a few people close to me that I know I can absolutely trust and they have the same kind of interests I do is just as fulfilling as having many friends.

3. Some of your biggest problems might be caused by decisions you made. 

4. The person closest to you might be the most toxic person in your life. 

Sometimes it hard to accept the fact that someone you love and care deeply about might be actually be bad for you.

5. Mental health is just as important as your physical health. 

I cannot stress this enough. While progress has been made and mental health is talked about much more than it used to be, it is still glossed over. There are still people who believe that the idea of mental illness doesn't exist or that if there is a problem, it can be fixed in a blink of an eye. People who struggle with their mental health know that this is not the case. It's hard to be successful, go to work or go to school when you have something weighing down on you like depression or anxiety or anything related. How are you supposed to be at your best when you don't feel your best?

6. Not everyone is going to be as caring and selfless to you as you are to them. 

Growing up, I was always taught to treat other people the same way I'd like to be treated. Arguably, this is a naïve thought, but I always figured that everyone grew up listening to and following that same message. In conjunction with that, I always assumed that everyone had a heart of gold. However, that isn't true. Some people, while they aren't necessarily bad people, are selfish or just plain mean, even when you go out of your way to help them or be nice to them. Your positive energy isn't always going to be matched.

7. Toilet paper and milk are EXPENSIVE. 

Grocery shopping in general is expensive. No one ever prepared me for that revelation.

8. Someone's hurtful actions towards you reflect who they are as a person, not you. 

It took me a long time to learn this, and it's something that I still struggle with sometimes. Whenever I was wronged by a friend or treated poorly by a coworker, the first thing I asked myself was "What did I do wrong?" I guess you could call it wallowing in self-pity or a pesky little thing called anxiety, but I always catch myself wondering what I did to deserve someone treating me poorly. Sometimes a better question to ask is "What is going on with them that warrants them wanting to lash out at someone?"

9. Life is too short. Take advantages of opportunities when they present themselves. 

Buy those concert tickets. Book that vacation. Accept that job offer. One of the worst things in the world is having regrets. A year down the line, you don't want to catch yourself saying "Man, I should've done that."

10. The mistakes you make don't have to permanently define you.

One of the coolest things about life is that you can grow and change, physically and mentally. When you make a mistake, don't run from it, own it - learn from it. The only way you can become a better person is by learning.

11. At the end of the day, your happiness is what comes first. 

Personally, I'm a people pleaser. I will constantly go out of my way to do this or that if I think it will make people happy, but I don't follow the same rule when it comes to my happiness. Also, I have a bad habit of asking other people what I should do when it comes to making decisions. I've learned that I need to stop doing that. I need to take ownership of my own life, and what makes me happy is all that matters.

12. Negativity attracts negativity, while positivity attracts positivity. 

13. Nothing is ever going to be handed to you on a silver platter. 

14. Put your phone down every once in a while; you're missing a great view. 

I'm the type of person who loves to take pictures and videos. I love capturing memories and being able to look back on them is so important to me. But I've learned that sometimes it is even more fulfilling to just live in the moment. Experience the moment head on; those feelings will last you a lifetime.

15. There are no deadlines when it comes to your success.

I know so many people who stress themselves out because they think they need to graduate college in four years or that they have to be married by the time they are 25. But guess what? There is no set timeline to anyone's life. Experiences and milestones hit everyone at different times; that's what makes life so unique and special. Think about how boring it would be if everyone's life followed the same road with the same road blocks. Embrace the fact that your life is different from someone else. Allow life to work out the way that it's meant to.

16. Don't be afraid to embarrass yourself. 

17. A friend that you met a week ago can end up being a better friend than someone you've known for years. 

18. Pain and hardships don't last forever. 

We all have those moments where life takes a turn and the bad luck feels like it's never going to end. The saying that when it rains, it pours is one of the truest statements ever. But believe that you'll wake up one day and things will be good again. Life is a constant cycle of ups and downs; for every down, there's an up. You just have to keep reminding yourself that.

19. Work hard, but also work smart. 

20. Don't be afraid to re-invent yourself. 

21. Enjoy life. 

This has been, by far, the most important thing that I've learned. I am a worrier. I worry about everything, even things that are completely out of my control. I tend to let the bad parts get me down, when in reality, I should be embracing every moment. You only get one life and what you choose to do with it, well, only you're in control of it, so make it count!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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