Growing up can mean many things; getting a job, buying a new car, or living alone. I recently moved out of my parents house and out of my dorm to live in an apartment on my own, and for the first time I understand what Charles Dickens was saying when he wrote "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times," because living alone can be amazing, but difficult. This time on my own is really the age of wisdom and the age of foolishness; like Dickens said, "I am only twenty why did I think that this was going to be easy?" After living on my own for a little while I have collected a list of things that all girls do even if we don't want to admit it.
1. Take your bra off as soon as you come home.
There is nothing better than that feeling of taking your bra off after a long day at work, and when you live alone you can rip that puppy off as soon as you walk through the door. this might be the best perk of living alone.
2. Drinking wine for dinner.
Wine can be a major food group right? It is made from fruit and that is healthy therefor if i have wine for diner I am eating healthy, right? It made sense in my brain, and I know that girls everywhere will understand the logic of a glass of wine while laying in bed, because cooking is too much effort and you had pizza last night so you know that the delivery guy will recognize you. No shame, ladies!3. Check every closet for murders when you get home.
We have all watched too many episode of "Criminals Minds" to not go through the house and check for murders. It doesn't mean you are a baby it means you are proactive. Just in case someone decides to hide in that back closet you will catch them by surprise! I will not let agent Morgan down!4. Talk to your mom on the phone at the grocery store.
Going to the grocery store is a lot of work but it must be done. No matter how old I get I always feel like a child in the grocery store. I am constantly calling my Mom for advice on whether I should get pine scented or Caribbean breeze air freshener because who knew that their are so many choices. Along as you get the important items like dry shampoo and Nutella everything else can wait till next week, right?
5. Wondering how the apartment got so dirty.
I am always blown away at how fast my apartment gets so dirty because I don't do anything. I swear the mess grows while I am work. Those little trolls must come in and eat all my food and make a mess because I feel like I am also cleaning. Well, I feel like I should be cleaning.
6. Never Wearing Pants.
No pants is the best pants! If you wear pants while you are home alone I think you have a problem. You don't need to wear pants to watch Netflix and drink wine. In fact, I think its a requirement to be pant-less for both of those. I'm sure I read that on Wikipedia once.
7. Ask the guy next store to kill any bugs.
Bugs were created to torture girls, but lucky for me, I have a neighbor who is unafraid. I can not be the only one who calls a boy to kill any spiders I find. I can here the antifeminist jokes, but save it, spiders are evil so I don't care. Do I get bonus point if my neighbor is cute? Let's hope so because I think I see a spider!
8.Wear embarrassing clothes because they are comfy.
Who cares if you sweater has a cat on it if it is comfy? When you live alone you can wear whatever you want. Dance around in some old sweat pants or a oversized shirt because you are the queen of your castle and it is a judgment-free zone.
9. Invite friends over so you don't have to be alone.
Girls night in can be a blast plus you don't have to be all alone in your house. Its and win-win for everyone right? Watch some movies and eat some popcorn. Just don't watch any scary movies.
10. Spend an entire day out to avoid a spider you might have seen.
Judge me all you want but I know everyone does this so save your judgement for someone who cares. Does anyone want to spend the whole day avoiding my apartment? Because I swear there was a spider and it was really big.
11. Pretend the dishes will do themselves.
I'm not sure why, but the dishes seem to multiply over night. The only thing worse is laundry. It’s totally acceptable to eat off of a paper plate and drink straight out of the bottle. It is environmentally helpful!
12. Text friends that you are showering just in case someone tries to pull a "Criminal Minds" on you.
I have seen too many scary movies to not send of a PSA to my friends just in case someone tries to murder me. You make laugh, but I refuse to die in with shampoo in my hair.
13. Avoid laundry like it's the plague.
Does this even need an explanation? Seriously, laundry is the worst. How do I go through my clothes this fast? What cruel magic is this?
14. Tell everyone living alone is great 'til you hear a noise.
I love living alone...did you hear that noise? I think it is a good time to go visit a friend. There is no shame in that, right?
Living alone is "the spring of hope" with lots of new adventures and fun times ahead but also "the winter of despair" because being alone can be scary. Charles Dickens must have lived alone, because he knows just how to describe this time in a young persons life, that is what "A Tale Of Two Cities" is all about right? Okay maybe I just spark noted it, but I am an adult now, I don't have time to read the whole thing. My best advice for anyone who is living alone is to have fun but keep and friend on speed dial, just in case.
