This week's recollection of fads and simple memories from days of yore aren't all things I miss, nor are they things I want to bring back. This odd-ball collection of things from the 00's and earlier are just things I truly forgot about. No, there's no specific reasoning behind the timing of this article and no, there's no deeper meaning behind all of this. Below is simply a list of bizarre things from the elementary and middle school days that I simply forgot about.
1. N*SYNC's "Space Cowboy"
Let me be honest. This week's article idea was sparked upon hearing the opening beat to "Space Cowboy" by N*SYNC. I immediately remembered their dance as they yelp "Why-yi-yi-yippie-yi-yay-yippie-yi-yo-yippie-yi-yay." What a time to be alive.
2. Hit-Clips
Speaking of N*Sync, listening to 60 seconds of "Dirty Pop" and "Who Let the Dogs Out?" when I was six was one of the coolest things to ever happen to me besides first grade. I remember rocking out to these in my living room and collecting as many as possible. Then, making CDs became all the rage and we somehow collectively all came to the right decision that we deserved more than 60 seconds of a song with only one headphone.
3. Tamagotchis
Instead of playing with baby dolls and having an imagination, or having some iphone/DS doggy daycare game, these were the "caretaker toys" of late 90s babies. We took care of these little duck/gerbil key-chain toys until the batteries died. I distinctively remember people getting in trouble in third grade when they would feed their Tamagotchi during the middle of the day. I also remember having one of mine die in its own poop-filled screen as I spent my entire night in dance class and could not tend to it. RIP.
4. How hard it is to load pez
First off, this is an extraordinarily boring and barely-tasty candy. The only true reason anybody buys pez is if they are a grandma or if they liked the dispenser. Regardless of the reasoning behind having one, the thing I distinctly remember hating about pez is the fact that it is pretty hard to load. As an adult looking back on my struggles, however, I've noticed this toy is teaching children how to load magazines just like you would for a gun (except with mediocre candy instead of bullets).
5. Gauchos
Don't get me wrong, these pants were comfy as hell and I don't regret wearing them. I mean, let's be real, these were the yoga pants of the decade before yoga pants truly emerged as the pants of all pants to wear when you didn't feel like wearing jeans. The upside to these flared-capri-length disasters? They looked a little more put-together than the yoga pants we live in today.
I remember wanting the above pair of gauchos so bad and consistently pointing them out to my mom every time we stopped in Limited Too. I could never quite figure out why she refused, so I purchased them myself after saving up my Christmas and birthday money. I have never regretted a purchase so much in my life.
6. Sham Wow
7. "Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide"
If I could think of one of the most underrated children's shows from the 2000s, it'd have to be this one. What a work of art! I can't say Ned's advice was always the most helpful, but tuning in every Friday at 8/7 central time was the highlight of my tween years (exaggeration, but none the less a great show).
There was Cookie constantly spazzing (who is hot now, in case you didn't know).
And nothing ever went right for coconut head (who is also not too bad looking).
And when Mozley and Ned kissed!?! Talk about an OTP.
8. "Zoom!"
Speaking of really dope and truly underrated shows, this beaut from the millennium showed us everything from arts and crafts to math and science. This show was educational, fun and hosted by children, for children. #BringBackZoom2016
9. "TRL"
This was the show I would sneak watching while my mom was in the other room (since it was on MTV and I was nine). This hub of pop culture that ruled the 3 p.m. time-slot for 10 years is iconic to many of the Gen X and millennial generations.
TRL brought Destiny's Child to the forefront. . . and later Queen Bey (move over, Kelly Rowland).
Even the Jonas Brothers got their 15 seconds of fame on the show. . . and then had their slow death on the Disney Channel falling in love with the pizza girl.
10. The Double-Down from KFC
Before the days of smoothie bowls and paleo-diets, people used to push the limits of our bodies with caloric disasters instead of cross-fit. Of all of the disgusting fast-food creations of the 2000s, there is nothing that fascinates me more then this breaded chicken disaster sandwiching bacon, cheese, and the Colonel's secret sauce.
11. Bratz dolls
I was honestly obsessed with these slutty barbies in second grade. Despite their lack of feet, these sassy dolls had a lot of cool accessories and seemed like barbie's cooler sister.
12. Dolphins and Friends
These will always taste better than goldfish in my opinion. I used to bite the tails off of all of them first and then eat their bodies because I was a sadistic child, but I would eat them in a normal fashion if that led Austin to make these beautiful cheddar snacks again.
13. Making "Things I Hate" videos
What started as a rant from Youtuber, Kingsley sparked a flood of webcam videos from teens that no one asked for. These were all the rage my freshman year. Hell, I made one that is 19 minutes long and an absolute disaster.
14. Those rubber spike earrings from Claire's
These were not cute, but everybody had at least six pairs. We wore these with our graphic tees that declared "I'm Nacho Girlfriend" or said "I know I'm awesome." Take it or leave it, these earrings were necessary in those mid- to late-elementary school years.
15. Skip-its
Confession: I was terrible at "skipping-it." My sister, however, could go for hours with this prison ball-and-chain disguised in fun pink plastic. In hindsight, I think I've survived knowing I could just jump rope and get the same level of monotonous enjoyment.
16. Sequin Bags
I had three of these, in my go-to colors: Silver, gold and pink. I regret nothing.
17. T-Mobile Sidekick
I never had this phone, but I remember begging for it. As one of the first "smarter" phones on the market with a full keyboard, rhinestone cases, and a little slot for phone-charms, this was the phone of every tween's dreams in 2006.
18. Fred Figglehorn
There you have it, 18 things that I can confidently say most of us have probably forgotten about. I'm not saying we should bring back any of these (except for "Zoom," I stand by that hashtag. . . and the Dolphin crackers), but they certainly made my life in the 2000s epic.
