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Politics

Things Donald Trump Should Be Instead Of President

D-Money, this one's for you. Think of it as a list of "healthy alternatives."

Carson Miller

Sep 07, 2016

Loyola Marymount University

Things Donald Trump Should Be Instead Of President

FreakingNews

As this year's election creeps closer and closer, I am forced to imagine a nation in which Donald Trump is the leader. While the thought is indeed intriguing (and extremely comical), I cannot help but wonder if Mr. Trump's many talents and traits could be used to improve our country in other ways. So, D-Money, this one's for you. Think of it as a list of "healthy alternatives."

1. A Wal-Mart Greeter

Practice saying "Welcome to Wal-Mart" enough times and it may just turn into "Welcome to the U.S." one day.

2. Spokesman for Tampax

"Control that 'blood coming out of your whatever' with Tampax!"

3. An understudy for "Biff" in Back to the Future 2

To be honest, I wouldn't really mind seeing you be run over by Michael J. Fox on a hover board. Just Kidding...kind of.

4. Advocate for the responsible use of spray tanning salons

Let the people of America know that there is a difference between a "Honeydew Glow" and a "Human Cheeto." Orange lives matter, too.

5. Star of a reality T.V. show

It's like Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but a little more annoying.

See Donald? There are so many other things you could be doing. Rather than prancing around in silly hats and building walls, you could have a real positive impact on America. So please, keep searching for your calling, because being president surely isn't it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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