It all starts out the same, doesn't it? You meet someone and you get close –very close. It’s all great for a while until someone stops trying. You talk less. Conversations are awkward. There’s drifting, and a lot of it. Then there’s no communication whatsoever. Memories start to fade, and that’s the worst part. Then the person you know becomes the person you knew, and it’s a terrible thing, but that’s usually how it goes.
I wish I could hold onto the moment a few months ago where you were cuddling me, telling me all the things you loved about me. For the first time in my life, I felt so safe and secure. I wish I could hold onto the moments when things felt perfect, and when I was happy. No, actually when we were happy. But then I realize that you don’t love me. You never did, truly. You could’ve, but you didn’t allow yourself to. But sometimes I pretend you do. Sometimes I tell myself that you do. Sometimes I genuinely feel like you do. But you don’t, and that’s the reality of it all.
I can feel you slowly fading away from the inside. It’s funny how quickly things change, isn’t it? It happens, though. Things change. People change. You changed. We used to talk for hours, and you said I used to be the highlight of your days. Now I’m lucky if I talk to you for a few minutes a day, and that's without fighting. You used to want to be with me. Now you don’t because I'm not good enough. I remember the jokes, the smiles, the laughs, the tickle fights. But I doubt you care to remember any of that.
I knew this would happen before it even did, but it still hurts. I’m still disappointed. I’m still sad. I’m still angry. I’m still sorry. I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted. Or maybe I was, but not anymore. Or maybe I am, but you just can’t do it. Who knows? I’ll get used to it. Life goes on.
If these past few months have taught me anything, it’s this: Just because someone likes you doesn’t mean they want to be with you. Just because they’re with you doesn’t mean they love you. Just because they love you doesn’t mean they won’t hurt you. Because people lie.
Why am I still holding on when I know there is nothing left to hold onto? And if I move on today, will you suddenly want me tomorrow? I guess we'll find out. But I’ll have you know that things could’ve been so different if you would’ve just chosen to keep trying. But you didn’t. And you can't take that back. And my life doesn’t stop for anybody.
Things changed. You stopped choosing me. The end.
