I've wasted so much time trying to find someone that is interested in me, and far too little time worrying about what I want and what I DO NOT want.So here! I dedicate this article to myself.

**Disclaimer:This article contains obscene amounts of sarcasm.

I am not looking for someone that...

Claims that I have "restored their faith in women.” Yes, someone has actually said this to me. What's wrong with saying something like this? First of all, this statement is cutting down other women. Any compliment that is cutting down someone else really isn't much of a compliment at all. Second of all, putting someone on a pedestal like that is wrong. What happens if I do something my partner does not like? What happens if we get in a fight? Will I lose that title? Will I become "just like every other girl" because I disagree with my partner or make a mistake or do one of the other millions of things that could make my partner upset?

I am not looking for someone that...

Openly compares everything I do to their past partners. Oh! You're really shocked that I like to eat what I like to eat because your girlfriends before me couldn't stand to have more than two ingredients on their sandwiches at Subway? Awesome! It's not like we're all individuals with different likes and dislikes. If we are your girlfriend, we must all be the same. Oh! You're so happy that you've found me and you're with me instead of your other girlfriends because they were "nothing but bitches" and you "never actually liked hanging out with them"? Wow. The fact that you are so eager to cut down these women any chance you get shows me just how much respect you have for other people.

I am not looking for someone that...

Is all talk. Do not tell me that you will help me fix or figure something out if you do not actually plan on doing it. Do not promise me that you will be on time at 6:00 p.m. to practice yoga with me and my friends who have been dying to meet you and finally show up at 8:30PM with the excuse, "Sorry. B.S. Excuse took more time than I thought it would. I'll never do it again. I hate breaking promises. La la la" This example actually leads me to my next point.

I am not looking for someone that...

Is consistently LATE. There is a huge difference between being 5-10 minutes late and 30 minutes to over an hour late. Anymore time after an hour is just excessive and rude. One of my exes would constantly text me, "I'm about to leave" at about 6 p.m. Only after 35-50 minutes or so would they actually show up. No, they did not live in the next country over.

I am not looking for someone that...

Makes me feel as though I need to "prove myself" to them. I've noticed that a lot of my past potential partners have had this weird competitive attitude when getting to know me. I shouldn't feel the need to prove that I'm interesting or funny or whatever it is the other person is trying to challenge. I know who I am.

I am not looking for someone that...

Makes jabs at me or insults me and claims that they're just joking or are just "playing around" with me. I know the difference between banter and simply being spiteful. For example, one time I told a guy that I had won money for an article I had written and posted. He didn't seem impressed. "How much did you win?" was his only response. I frowned a bit. "It was $20.00" He scoffed, "I wonder how much your next article will make. $21.00?" He laughed. The thing is, I wasn't excited about the money. The fact that I had made money doing something I enjoyed so much was all that mattered to me. Maybe if he had actually taken the time to get to know me he would have realized that. Instead, he spent the majority of his time talking about how great of a football player he was in high school. I'm sorry sir but you're 21 years old now. Perhaps it's time to move on with your life?

I am not looking for someone that...

Only talks about themselves. Someone once explained this to me so well. She said, "If they didn't ask me any questions about myself within the first 20 minutes, I knew it wasn't going to work out. The hardest thing to find is a good listener and I could tell right away if the person I was with was or wasn't one".

And lastly, I am not looking for someone that...

Confuses my kindness and compassion for naiveté. I know when someone is taking advantage of me. It may not seem like it and I may not say anything out loud but believe me, I know it. The moment someone begins to take advantage of me is the moment I begin to quietly distance myself from them. Within a matter of time, nothing they ever say will matter and their promises will mean nothing to me.