I have been a plus-sized woman all of my life. I've yo-yo dieted, battled an eating disorder and joined and then canceled more gym memberships than I care to count, but at the end of the day, the result was always the same. I was unhappy, and it took me a long time to realize that it wasn't my weight that was holding me back, but the way society told me I had to live my life as a fat person. I was being taught how to be a "good fatty," and it wasn't until I broke the chains of society's norms and freed myself from the prison I had willingly put myself in that I began to love life and myself so much more. I want other plus-sized women of all shapes and sizes to love themselves just as much as I do. Here are a few things all plus-sized women should do to break the chains and stop being "good fatties."
Love Your Body
Your body is a wonderful thing and it's the only one you will ever have. It can take you on adventures, be decorated and adorned in jewels and create human life. Your body is as magical as a rainbow unicorn and should be treated as such. It's difficult to want to improve something you have been taught to hate, but when you realize how amazing your body truly is, that hate will turn into love. I know self love is a journey and not an overnight experience, so savor the journey, because at the end of the day, the love you feel for yourself is the greatest love of all.
Don't Settle
We are all deserving of love and deserve to be desired and wanted, but that doesn't mean we have to settle for "what we can get" just because we are plus-sized. Our size is just that -- a size. It does not dictate our worth or who we are allowed to love. I was once told I should get what I could because I was fat. A week later I stole that girl's boyfriend. Never let anyone make you believe that just because you are plus-sized that you deserve to date who society deems worthy for you. You are not a "take one for the team" kinda girl. You are a goddess, a force to be reckoned with and a magical being. Go out there and get who you really want and make them remember how lucky they are to have someone as amazing as you.
Wear What You Want
It's summer. Wear that bikini, tank top and shorts! At 32-years-old, I bought and wore my first bikini on vacation in Florida. Not only did I feel beautiful, I felt empowered and ready to do some serious sun bathing. I, like all women, was a little self conscious at first, but once out in the sun, I realized that the world did not come to a screeching halt because my bare midriff was showing. If we all wait for the "perfect body," we will all be waiting forever. There is no such thing as the perfect body; there are only the beautiful bodies we have, so wear what makes you feel beautiful, comfortable and empowered. The haters are always going to hate, so don't let them dull your shine.
Don't Be Afraid To Be Seen
When society tells you that you are not "beautiful" because of a number on a scale, you tend to become a bit of a wallflower. Never be afraid to make too much noise in fear of some breathing human being seeing you. I will be seen and heard, and so should you! Wear that killer lipstick. Rock those neon platform heels. Want that big thigh tattoo? Get it! Wear those short shorts to show it off, because you deserve to be seen, noticed and told how awesome you truly are.
Surround Yourself With People That Love And Support You
When you surround yourself with love and people who truly care about you, you begin to flourish like a flower in the sun. You begin to see all the wonderful things they see and embrace all the "flaws" you have and celebrate them. These friends are the friends that see you for you and not the ones that "fear for your health" by fat shaming you. No, these friends are the ones that tell you you can do anything, can go anywhere and can be anything you want to be because your life is limitless and the possibilities are endless. These are your "you go girl" friends, your "don't give up!" friends and your "where did you learn those dance moves?" friends. Above all, these are the friends that become like family and stay when everyone else leaves.
