Walking into the cold hospital you really don't know what to expect. There are all kinds of crazy thoughts running through your mind. A lot of things are left to the unknown. Feeling unprepared is the worst feeling ever.
The doctor walks into the room with a stone cold face. Your heart is racing and 10 minutes feels like 10 days. The one thing you would have never thought of coming true yet unfolding right in front of your eyes. He is about to tell you the most terrifying three word sentence you could ever hear "You have cancer." At the time, I wasn't phased by this little diagnosis. I was told that I had to take a couple rounds of chemo and maybe radiation. The doctor tried to tell me everything he thought would be beneficial to me about having cancer. He told me all the do's and dont's to having cancer, but the things he didn't tell me could have changed my life:
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What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that I would have to become one of the strongest people you have ever met.
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that I would be on the edge of fighting for my life.
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that I would go days questioning if I had a purpose in this world.
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that at one point throughout my journey I would lose all hope.
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that I would contemplate suicide because it seemed better then suffering through rounds of chemo.
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that I would make my whole family suffer from my illness.
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that I would lose all self-esteem; never wanting to look in the mirror after being told I was "ugly" and looked "weird."
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that kids at school would bully me because I looked sick and I was "bald-headed".
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that I would have the biggest scar you can imagine on my body. Everytime someone asked, "OMG, what happened?" you would have to tell them you had cancer.
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that everytime someone asks you about your life, you have to tell them this long depressing story about having cancer.
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that everyone will admire you for your strong will and perseverance.
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that I will have a greater outlook on life because I know what it means to fight for my life.
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that through my journey God would reveal my purpose in this world. (Helping others)
What the doctors didn't tell me about having cancer is that God has taken me through a test and yes, I passed it with all As.
What the doctors didn't tell me about having cancer is that I will understand the true definition of life at a young age; I will be able to encourage other teens going through the same thing.
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that my illness will make my family bond stronger then ever. It would make the Watkins family an unstoppable family.
What the doctors didn't tell me about having cancer is that I will learn to embrace my "weirdness." I will learn that I am beautiful in all of my weird unique ways.
What the doctors didn't tell me about having cancer is the same kids that bullied you in school will be the same kids you end up witnessing the Gospel of Jesus to later on in life.
What the doctors didn't tell me is that my scar will become my battle wound. I will learn to embrace my scar and show it off to world.
What the doctor didn't tell me about having cancer is that I will be going around to cities, churches, and communities preaching the gospel.... telling people about my wonderful testimony and changing lives!
" People won't understand your GLORY until they hear about your STORY."
