I guess when someone hurts you, there is this assumption that they won't come back so you build a room, with walls built of mirrors, so you can learn to love yourself from every angle.
Just when I was feeling confident and began loving myself again; you came back and I feel like maybe all that time in front of a mirror didn't prepare me for this internal conflict because I never expected, or even anticipated an apology.
My life was like a humid, hot summer day and you came around like a cold breeze. I embraced it because it felt right, but forgiving you meant accepting that this may not last that this feeling of reconnecting could be temporary.
I can't pretend that I am not charmed by the compliments, but I am playing it coy because the butterflies in my stomach have been crushed before; and the once whimsical, naive side of me, is still recovering from the most recent time that I had to relearn I am not invincible.
Since there is no "handbook", for these situations, I'm playing this by ear, approaching with every cliche in the book:
One day at a time because I know how fast you can leave, but how I can survive on my own; With both feet on the ground because I am not ready trust you the way I trusted you before; in moderation because I have too much going for me to let you waste my time; and with a grain of salt, because talk is cheap.
But if history repeats itself, I will rise with the sun in the morning, continuing to learn, and shine bright on all the surfaces that reflect me.
