Everyone says that your time spent away at college will be the best time of your life. You are finally independent and free from living under your parents roof, and you are basically living with your best friends. My first semester away at school was just like the picturesque vision of college you have throughout your teen years - I was independent, having fun, and surrounded by new friends. It seemed like I was finally rid of the depression and anxieties that held me back when I was younger. However, once the honeymoon period of college went away by the end of first semester, the high of college started to wear off and my depression and anxiety slowly, but surely found a way back into my life.
Just two weeks into my second semester away at school, I felt the familiar weight of depression hit me all at once, and my anxious thoughts started to race throughout my mind once again. The hardest thing about living with anxiety and depression is that they do not just magically disappear. They are, typically and unfortunately, going to be with you throughout your life - but that does not mean that they cannot be managed.
After skipping a few days worth of classes and worrying my friends, I decided that it was finally time to make a counseling appointment at school. I was nervous, and felt ashamed. I had been to therapy before but not right in the middle of campus. I was worried that everyone would somehow find out that I go to therapy or see me walking to the health center and judge me, and maybe the receptionist could hear the worry in my voice as I called to make an appointment because she assured me that many people on campus scheduled therapy appointments, and I felt a little better about the situation.
I have been in therapy since I was a teenager, and it was no different of an experience when I went to my appointment on campus. No one noticed or cared that I was walking to the health center (and there are number of reasons why someone would even visit the health center) and after just a few appointments, I noticed that my symptoms of anxiety and depression were decreasing and I was feeling a bit like my old self.
Going to college can be extremely challenging and even lonely, it's okay if you feel off or like you need someone to talk to. The great thing about therapy at MCLA (and I assume most schools) is that it's free! So you really have nothing to lose. I still see my therapist about once a week or once every other week if I feel like I'm improving. I often see people that I have class with in the waiting room. I love the moments when we give each other a polite, knowing smile that says "I'm here too!" it makes me feel so much better to know that I'm not alone. You aren't alone either, so if you feel the need to go to therapy or to just have someone to talk to, go for it! It's worked for me and so many others. There's nothing to lose and more importantly, nothing to be ashasmed about.
