There are three types of families most people are familiar with nowadays. There is the classic nuclear family which consists of parents and their children. Usually associated with a white picket fence, pancakes with a funny face made out of fruit, and a golden lab running around the front lawn. Second is the extended family, which includes family that lives within the household; usually aunts, uncles, cousins or grandparents. Personally, I think of Mulan's family or Full House as some prime examples. Lastly, is the reconstructed family. This is a growing type of family as the rate of divorce of married couples in the United States is at least 50%. Reconstructed families are ones that have divorced parents, step siblings, half siblings and are much more complicated than nuclear and extended families. These three groups have come to be norms today and are accepted and adapted by society. However, there is another type of family in the United States. It's called the Crazy-Chaotic-Compassionate-Cohesive (C4) Family and a prime example would be my own.
The C4 family is something I came up with for those families that don't seem to fall into any category. Yes, technically I fall under the category of reconstructed, but to me it feels as though it does my family a dis-justice to label us so simply. I am positive that others have a similar feeling in that their family is so complex and unique it is hard to explain to people on the outside. So for those people whom don't understand, or think that C4 families aren't as great or healthy as traditional ones, I will try to elaborate and explain as best as I can.
To begin, my parents divorced when I was in third grade and my little sister was about 4. At first, I thought it was going to be the worst thing in the world. Wednesdays and every other weekend at a different house, hour long car rides, packing and unpacking duffel bags, passing mail and checks between parents and alternating holidays was not something I looked forward to. However, looking back, all those things turned out to be my favorite and they taught me more than I ever imagined.
Above all, it taught me to mature before anyone my age. It taught me that selfishness has no room in my life and that sometimes I have to do what's best for everyone not just myself. It taught me to time manage, to think ahead and plan. It taught me to be responsible, for bringing my uniform in the right bag, to wake up my sister and I on early mornings and to be on top of the hustle and bustle of two busy lives.
Not only has my C4 family taught me more lessons than I ever could say, it has brought people into my life that now, I wouldn't be me without. Both my parents are engaged, so not only do I have a stepmom and stepdad, but I have their families as well. Meaning I used to only have my Mom's side and Dad's side, but now I have my stepmom's spicy Uruguayan family and stepdad's authentic Italian family. Not counting my blood sister, I have three sisters and two brothers; six siblings in total. As well as a handsome nephew, four parents, eight grandparents, countless aunts and uncles and even more cousins.This means, in addition to my loud, loving, crazy extended family on both sides I now have two more sides that I get to call my family. Which means, quadruple the amount of Easter gatherings, birthday cakes, summer BBQs, and mostly, Christmas presents.
To those that say reconstructed families or C4 families are not healthy or are damaging to the children- use me as a prime example. Any family can go rotten, but it all depends on the parenting and upbringing, regardless of any external factors. My parents never let their marital status hinder their children in education, relationships, and abilities. So just as every other child, my sister and I are dedicated to our studies, had designated homework times and have flowing creativity in projects. We were overly involved in softball, soccer, clubs and social settings and still are now. We respect the adults around us, developed healthy relationships and expectations of love and maintained a positive emotional outlook on life and what we can accomplish knowing we now have so many loved ones to support us. We were and still are smothered in attention and have never been neglected or pushed to the side. If there are any more myths about children of divorce you would like debunked, feel free to contact me.
This may sound overwhelming to most, but this is the life of a C4 family, the only family I would ever want to be a part of. Most people ask me, "If you had a choice would you wish your parents stayed together" and to that I would absolutely laugh in their face. Because I would not trade this lifestyle for the world because it is my world. My siblings have attributed to making me a happy, ambitious and proud sister. I will always be grateful for having them and so appreciative for the endless love and support this family has. There is nothing quite like being thirteen having to wake up at 5:30 AM on Thursday mornings from dad's house to make it on time for the bus, having family events that could consists of eight grandparents, and stopping in on five houses on Christmas day but this is my Crazy-Chaotic-Compassionate-Cohesive Family, and it makes me, me.
