Whether you are tackling a challenging subject for the first time or you are the top of your class, there will always be someone better than you. Too often we base our worth on our level of success compared to others. We see the world through a narrow lens that only sees the end result, ignoring the steps people took to get there. The long hours of practice, the many missteps before the progress, and the level of experience, all occur behind the scenes, something our tunnel vision does not take into account.
My first year in college I struggled to balance time. I knew this challenge was normal for most new students, but compared to upperclassmen, I was a disappointment. I felt discouraged that I did not have my life together the way they did with all of their accomplishments. This is a perception most relate to, the sense of not being good enough. Whether it is a matter of age or ability, no amount of work or success is going to make this feeling go away. A change of perspective is the only cure.
Compare yourself only to who you were yesterday, not to anyone else. When you become your own competition, you free yourself from the never ending cycle of frustration. You are always ten steps further than you were yesterday. From the daily lessons learned to the strength to move on, we are constantly transforming into better versions of ourselves. When the lens is switched from others to yourself, you begin to know your true worth. A necessary step towards a healthy path of self love and confidence.
Not comparing yourself to others is easier said than done, but like any other skill it takes time to make it a habit. Practice, discipline, and support are all needed to open your lens and make this your permanent mindset. Practice acknowledging your daily successes. Whether it is writing your paper before its due date or being an open ear for a friend, recognize your value. Discipline yourself to fight the cognitive dissonance you have been condition to feel. Logically you know you will never be someone else, but challenge your emotions to understand this too by spending time with yourself. Rekindle one of your old hobbies or take a daily walk, anything you can do to be alone with your thoughts sometime of the day. Finally, support yourself and be prepared for setbacks. Although I now know not to compare myself to others, there are still some days I am stubborn and ignore this. When this happens I take out a list I made that reminds me how far I am now in my twenties, compared to my teen years. This makes me put things back into perspective and guides me back on track. Find your own reminder to pick you up on harder days.
There will always be someone better than you, but there will only be one you. Know your worth and learn to be your own competition.
