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Politics and Activism

There Can Only Be One

Beyoncé's dominant twin has finally consumed its sibling

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There Can Only Be One

Beyoncé, fierce as she is, could only produce the fiercest of babes; and what could be fiercer than eating your own sibling for power? Now, most would consider the womb a symbol of safety and care. We instinctually feel comforted by womb-like conditions, which explains why we sleep in warm blankets and why some enter a "fetal" position when under great psychological stress. Beyoncé's womb does not belong to just any woman, though. The Queen B isn't the type to stick to the norm and neither is her baby-chamber. Resembling something of a gladiatorial coliseum, her womb is thought to be the final resting place of many prenatal warriors. Theorists speculate that she was originally pregnant with octuplets which, if true, would make her remaining "twin" a grizzled veteran who, like their mother, is unafraid to step on some heads to get to the top; be it in the music industry or in utero.

When questioned, Beyoncé did not appear too shaken by the loss. "I'm just relieved now that it's over and done with. Better that they resolve it in the womb than out, right? I can tell you from experience that that would get real ugly real fast. I would have much rather have eaten my sister while we were just fetuses. That's right, I, legendary singer-songwriter Beyoncé, ate my own sister to absorb her strength and musical proficiency."

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