"I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.I can do all things through him who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:12-13

Months of drowning, years of fighting and weeks of staying afloat. I finally began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. People always express how difficult and unpredictable the freshman year of college can be, but sometimes there is little you can do to actually prepare for the changes that you are going to experience. Spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally, change after change after change, all within the span of 9 or 10 months. The freshman year of college makes or breaks most people. I want to share my story of finding hope and happiness after months and months of drowning, years of fighting and weeks of staying afloat. Amidst all of the changes that I underwent, I always knew that there would be light at the end of the tunnel. I smiled in the arena, during the uphill battle, because I knew that I would smile even brighter on the other side. I want to share with you a little about standing on that mountaintop, conquering freshman year of college and being able to see the other side.

Fall semester of 2015 - where all of the excitement and changes began. I was lucky to find a super solid group of friends and a Christian community that genuinely cared about me and my decisions. I began to grow accustomed to the constant busyness and exhaustion which I assumed simply came with the territory of "college student". Work, writing, school, extracurricular things and overall learning how to live a fuller life. Fall semester was great for me for the most part. I got fairly good grades by chance and had lots of fun with the football games, baseball games, and an overall highly indulgent social scene. Life was great and I began to tiptoe into positive change. I dipped my toe into the pool of radical and real change, and I began to consider diving in. Fall semester was great for me and it will probably be great for you as well, but be cautious because a storm of unprecedented stress and responsibility is coming.

Now don't get me wrong, it is completely vital to work hard and take advantage of the easier-to-come good grades that come with Fall semester. First semester GPAs can often help your cumulative in the long-run, so definitely work hard. However, be cognizant that Spring semester brings new classes, expectations, struggles and triumphs. Spring semester seems to make people a little crazy - as it made me. You really have to be able to create a solid schedule and routine at the beginning of both semesters and understand that stability and familiarity aren't so common when it comes to college classes and living arrangements. Many people have new classes each semester, new living arrangements once or twice a year, and a plethora of ever-changing challenges and problems. It is so important to train your mind to not let the financial, emotional and physical stress get to you too much. This is where my problem lied. I was internalizing all of my stress, literally losing hair and losing sleep. During this intense period of stress, and while many other college freshman are at the end of their rope as well, it becomes increasingly difficult to remind yourself of why you're here and what the ultimate goal is - graduation plus experience. For me, learning to have faith in the other side through the months of drowning, years of fighting and weeks of staying afloat, is what got me through the most difficult time of my life thus far. I experienced months of drowning, anywhere from December of 2015 to May of 2016, years of fighting, from the time I was 5 years old, and weeks of staying afloat, this summer as relationships became increasingly difficult to maintain, refine and prioritize. As of now, July 19, 2016, I can finally say I don't feel like I am just tolerating life or floating by.

The other side for me was this summer. The other side for you can be tomorrow or 3 months from now. Most of all, it is important to remember that through storms, trials and tribulations, we are being strengthened and renewed and that the other side will be worth it all. Though my life often feels either an uphill battle or a glorious mountaintop, I understand that sometimes life isn't always just great or terrible. Most of all, to make my college experience all that it can be, I have learned to embrace every new challenge and triumph wholeheartedly without fearing to evoke emotion. My biggest piece of advice for anyone waiting to see the other side is that, no matter how hard things get or how hopeless life seems sometimes, never forget to embrace every up and down wholeheartedly and with full emotion. As the shame and blame researcher and well-known author Brene Brown says, "we can't selectively numb emotion. Numb the dark and you numb the light".