Cursing in public has become less frowned upon. Vulgar language is now socially accepted and has become a part of American culture. It has gotten to the point where f***, s*** and b**** are used in everyday language, especially since they're expressed frequently in music and televised media. Cursing is still considered rude, but it is wildly practiced among the young and the old. So, with all the cursing that is going on, why is the N word of special controversy? It is used heavily in the music sector and the unofficial greeting and acknowledgement by the black community. The stigma around the word has been removed, and it is used as a term of endearment. The word is so unapologetic and publicly used, and it is not the racially derogatory slur, so why can’t everyone say it?

If you are not treated like a n***a, then if you say it, it is still offensive. It is not a matter of cultural appropriation — although some people will argue that it is a matter of cultural appropriation — but not understanding what it means to be a n****. You don’t realize that in terms of cultural media, it’s cool to be a n**** and say it, but it is not always the “cool” to be treated as one by those who are not fellow n****s. The n**** culture is frequently looked down upon when it is not profitable. It’s cool to be a n**** when your musicians address others as one. It can be cool to be a n**** when they are starting the trends in fashion, music, dance and even language, but being a n**** is not a fashion choice; it is not a costume. You do not get to wear the badge one day and then take it off whenever you see fit. No matter how a black person talks or dresses or behaves, a black person will automatically be presumed to be a n**** in a negative way. No one else has to carry that burden. It is not a trend because trends die. Once a person is born with melanized skin, that person is a n**** for life.

Why do some people get so hurt being called the N word by those who are not black? Well, if you google the N word, you get some funny memes, like "really n****," but then there are ones that are unnecessary and straight up racist depictions of black people. Certain people take the recreational use of the word as the equivalent of a joke. Jokes are supposed to be funny, not slander. Pictures based off of exaggerated stereotypes is not what it means to be a n****. The ignorance that some people have when using it conveys the wrong message about peaceful intentions. When such ignorance is used when non-black people say the word, it reiterates that it is not for everyone's use.

There is always the debate on who should say n**** or if it should even be said at all. N***a came from the from the derogatory n***er; black people took the word back and wore it with pride. When addressing others as n***a, it was acknowledgement of being from the same brotherhood. You didn’t call just anyone n***a; it was reserved for those who deserved it. Now, the word is given to anything breathing. Your friend is your n****, your mailman is your n****, even your dog is your n****. It’s used in every emotion, from happy to angry to pensive. It is just not the same word anymore, so should we be treating it differently? The word was an exclusive word used by a special elite, but it was only used by and for the people who were using it. N***a was not used in public like it is used today. Now, it is used so frequently, it has merged itself into mainstream culture. If people keep calling non-black people the N word, aren’t they going to feel like they can use it too?

Of course, that is not going to happen. There is a certain freedom black people feel in using the word so openly without having to be worried about the repercussions. If we are going to be using it so recreationally, is there so much harm in allowing others to also use it respectfully? There really is no clear answer since everyone feels so differently about the word. The only advise I can offer is this: be respectful where you use it and be mindful of those who are not comfortable. It’s only a word, so there is always replacement.