Year after year you called me terrible names. You made me hate myself. You made me lose who I was. You turned our friends against me. You made them think that I was obsessed. But that wasn't the case. You messed with my mind so much that I yearned for your approval. I needed you to tell me you loved me. I needed you to be in my life. What kind of person does something like that?
You made me feel powerless and powerful at the same time. You made me feel like the most important person in the world and like nothing at the same time.
You know who you are. You were in my life for so long. You were such a toxic person. Everything you were about was just a manipulation. You used me because you knew how to control me. You knew that you could say jump and I'd say how high. You knew that if you left that I would beg you to come back. You knew that I would never give up.
But to your surprise one day I did. You said you couldn't do it anymore and I had enough of you. I had enough of your lies. I had enough of you telling me that I was something special to you but then you making me feel like I was nothing at all. So I told you don't do it anymore. And I left it at that. You had me on edge you had me tied around your finger. But guess what I learned something. I learned that I am better than you. I know how to do better for myself. I know that I can do things without confiding in you. I know now that I shouldn't wait for you to call when it was clear that you were never going to call. I finally had the power that you always had. I finally had the strength to say get out! And that was the best day of my life.
But stupidly after I gained all my power you came back in. You started destroying me again. We went from nothing to everything in a month. You were talking kids and marriage and I was just trying to get back to the comfort of you that was never even comfortable. Then one day you sat in my car. I told you I was scared of you and that I would never be with you again. And you lost it. You lost all your power over me in that way once in for all.
But the thing that sucks the most is that no matter what you are going to have some power over me. That isn't fair to anyone in my life and I can say that I hate you for that. I hate how you can say two words to me and have me in a panic for hours. I hate that I know when my phone says No Called ID it is you. I know that when I get multiple missed calls that it is you. But still I feel like I have to answer. And I hate it so much. But one thing I do know is I am a stronger person because of you and I know how to overcome more things than ever because of you. And now I have a story and I can make sure no one I love ever has to deal with someone like you.
