So you made it right? Four years of 8am classes, all-nighters, 20-page essays you waited to the last minute to write, reading 65-page textbook chapters, study guides, the daily anxiety of wondering whether you’ll end up with that diploma in your hand when it’s all said and done.And suddenly, its May 2016, and you find yourself in a funny hat and an oversized gown walking across a stage, to grab a 150,000 dollar piece of paper. What a relief, you did it, all the anxiety is over right? Wrong.
The worrying is far from over. Sure, the first three weeks after college are wonderful. You usually spend it throwing and attending graduation parties, counting the money distant relatives send you for your “amazing accomplishment”, sleeping in until noon everyday, binge watching Netflix tv series you haven’t had the time to watch in months, and getting some quality cuddles with the much missed family pet or in my case pet(s). But after the three weeks of bliss is over, reality hits hard.
Well now what? What do I do with my life? When do I have to start doing something with my life? Ten minutes? Ten weeks? Ten years? I need a job. I have a job. What if I hate the job? What if the job hates me? Can I still live at home or do I need to move out? Cause that’s what adults do right, they move out? About 50,000 question marks hit you like a stampede of elephants racing through the jungle. And family, family friends, personal friends and society doesn’t seem to help much at all with all the pressing issues.
Overnight, life suddenly turns into a competition of who can find the better job the fastest, who got into the best grad school, and who’s taking a year off "to just travel”. The endless interrogation from family and family friends on what you’re going to do with your life, seemingly never ends. It's enough to make any young person want to get on a plane, fly away, and never be seen again.
Therefore, this post summarizes eleven times I've felt exactly like Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate (1967), as a recent grad.
1. When you realize there’s no longer a set plan to your life. It’s all in your hands.
And you just stand there like....what now?
2. Everyone seems to know what career is best for you.
So you just sit there nodding your head, saying "you'll look into it"
3. When people keep offering to set you up for interviews with jobs you have no interest in
And you have to politely shoot them down...
4. When you feel like your drowning from family expectations.
You feel you may never know what it's like to breathe a breath of fresh air again.
5. When you try to say adult things in adult conversations and all the real adults just laugh at you like your an idiot.
I'll just be over here in the corner, nonchalantly stuffing a sock in my mouth.
6. When you're in an interview and they ask you what "special skills" you bring to the table
Ugh does drinking an entire bottle of wine in one sitting count as a "skill"
7. When you make that first phone call to your boss or the employer interviewing you.
Hello, it's me.That's all the confidence I have for one phone call.
8. When you try to take some initiative but it just makes you look like you have no idea what you're doing even more.
Totally clueless.
9. When all the pressure and anxiety makes you start making some terribly irrational decisions.
Sleeping with inappropriate people. i.e. your father's partner's wife
10. When you just feel like running away from this whole "life thing"
Anywhere but here.
11. When you finally run out of excuses
So, whether you're a fan of old scandalous Dustin Hoffman movies, with young Mr. Feeny, or not; I'm hoping every recent grad can find the deeper meaning in this post. Being a new graduate is not easy. It's not easy for about a thousand different reasons. The unknown and the what if's can easily eat you alive.
The only thing that can bring some comfort, is to know you aren't alone with these feelings. Most older adults I've confided with talk about feeling the exact same way when they were recent grads. The good news? It gets better. According to a recent study, (discussed on my favorite morning radio show), 20-30-year-olds have the highest rates of anxiety, depression, and stress. While, older people aged 40 and older, have much higher rates of happiness and self-satisfaction.
The point is we're all a little worried about our future's and what's to become of us. That's a pretty normal reaction to the recent grad. But maybe we need to find the humor in life, and take things day by day. We're going to get a job. We're going to pay off those student loans. We're going to find the love of our lives. We will eventually become all we set out to be. It's just going to take a little time and a little effort.
So, for now recent college grads, sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. Cause we'll all eventually be as happy looking as Dustin Hoffman and Katharine Ross in the back of this taxi.
