Going off to college as a freshman is scary for anyone. The idea of packing up all of your belongings, moving away from home, and being tossed into a new environment with a bunch of strangers is a terrifying thought. Most of us are only 17 or 18 years old, and we are making a decision that will effect the course of our lives.

My first few weeks of college was not the best, and not usual.

Most kids spend their first few weeks of school rushing to a bunch of different events and activities, anxious to take advantage of all of the opportunities. During the first two weeks of college, I was the exact same. I was part of the rugby team, krav maga (Israeli street fighting), and fencing. Being a double major as well, I was sprinting into the "ideal college lifestyle" my parents always talked about. I was meeting new friends and establishing my place at school.

I wouldn't stop being the typical me: running around trying to do everything until I ran myself into the ground.

God wasn't going to have that.

Little by little, God began to wear me down by strategically placing barriers on me. The problem wasn't that I was having a fun college experience, it was that I wasn't taking time to spend with him. God knew he had to break me down from what was keeping me from him. So he sent breaks my way.

The first break for me was between me and my year long boyfriend. I loved him very much, but we had very different perspectives about faith and what we wanted to do with our lives. I wanted to be a traveling missionary, and he was content with where he was in the states and had no desire to partake in my walk of faith. I've known for a while that this would become an issue, but cared about him so much that I pushed down those negative feelings. However, it eventually came to the point where we were both miserable. It had to end.

The second break came when a rainstorm came during rugby practice. This monsoon came from nowhere, and I have never seen rain like this. The rugby pitch was a 10 minute walk away from any building and I was completely soaked head to toe. The water seeped through my backpack and actually got in my phone. The water damage ruined my iPhone 6. Now this may sound petty and stupid, but spending your first week of college without a phone is freaking frustrating. I had no way to contact my friends who I missed so much, I couldn't text my anxious mom who wanted to know what I was doing every minute of every day, and my whole schedule, pictures, contacts, everything, was gone. No matter what I tried, the phone was destroyed.

The third and by far the worst break came during the first 30 minutes of my first rugby game. I was elated to play against Fairport in West Virginia. I have worked out vigorously, looked up rugby games all summer, and was practicing with the team for some time. While on the bus riding over to West Virginia, I got a little voice in my head. I first thought it was paranoia, but I heard God telling me "You're going to get hurt during this game, I really need you to trust me." My faith with God hasn't been the best during the last year. It felt like I was going through the motions of my religion halfheartedly. So when I heard God speak to me, I was horrified. I walked onto the rugby pitch shaking because I was so scared. Once the game got started I began to feel better and thought "Silly Emily, you had no reason to be worried." A few minutes after I thought that, I was illegally tackled and trampled on. I heard a loud snap, and I hoped it was just the cartilage of my back cracking from the impact. At first, I felt no pain and started to walk to get back into my position, when I felt my bone sticking out of its place. I called over my team's captain and she rushed me off the field. The ambulance was called and I was rushed to the hospital.

The next few weeks were a disgusting display of different hospitals, medical clinics, painkillers, x rays, and long medical terminology I didn't understand. All I did know was that my collarbone was broken and that I would have surgery.

I began to feel depressed. I was being carted around and was stressed about my schoolwork. I wasn't able to use my left arm at all. I was terrified of surgery and needles and hated the situation that I was in. It drove me crazy that I didn't have my phone to contact my friends who were freaking out over me and that I couldn't talk to my ex boyfriend because we had recently broken up. I felt super alone, but I was reminded that my life wasn't in my control. I was beginning to think that I could live my life on my own, and God was about to teach me a lesson the hard way. I no longer could toss myself into my friends, my boyfriend, or my sport when I had a problem. I had to turn to him. This whole time I've been wondering why would God do this to me. Why would I have to be so alone on campus because everyone made solid friendships while I was away? Why do I have to give up the sport I love? Why won't my friends back home try to come see my when I came back from surgery? I chose to go to Grove City to get my adult life started the right way: with God and academics. I refused the parties and the binge drinking most college kids are excited about. It wasn't fair for me to be punished for my actions.

Like Jacob, I wrestled with God. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. The loneliness and depression got so bad that I sought help from the school's counseling center. Through a lot of prayer and self reflection, I finally understand why God did this.

God need to slow me down. I was so busy running around trying to make myself happy that I wasn't paying attention to God's call to my life: missions work. I was becoming the rugby girl, the International Business major, the "do-it-all" girl, I wasn't paying attention to the poor and mistreated who have been on my heart since freshman year of high school.

Recently, I have been slowly but surely organizing a group to help with the current Syrian Refugee Crisis, I had talked to my Lebanese mentors and friends about setting up a partnership between YFC and my college. I've been busier than ever developing plans, going to meetings, and figuring out ways to advocate for God's children. My faith has grown my leaps and bounds. When I felt ignored and neglected, I realized that's how God felt towards me. I was ignoring him because I was "busy" I wasn't giving him the time, love, and patience that he deserved.

God puts us back on track in strange ways. Although my first few weeks of college were extremely stressful, I am thankful for what God has done.