I piss off my parents a lot, and I mean a lot. I know all teenagers are excellent at this feat, and all parents deal with it. But today, I realized that pissing off my parents from 6.5 hours away isn't exactly the best thing to do. Of course, my mom or dad can't take away my phone or laptop while I am up here because how else will I stay in touch or get my homework done, you know? To be honest, 6.5 hours away they can't really stop me from doing anything. They have no idea what I am doing at any given time, and they have no idea if I am even telling the truth about what I have done (yes, mom and dad, I am telling the truth). I get it--I make you all worry about me.
Recently, I have gotten myself into a bit of a rut. I am always in my room, realized I didn't actually fit in with the group I was in and decided that I need to take some time to myself. A people hiatus, if you will. But I didn't realize that crying to my mom on the phone about the stresses in my life would keep her up at night, I never thought that telling her I was eating in my room would make her upset, and the second I told her why I cut it off with my almost-boyfriend, I am sure she wanted to drive 6.5 hours north to make sure I was okay.
I don't know what it's like being a parent, and God bless my parents for being my parents. Trust me, I never meant to make you worry. I know that we argue and fight, and I know that you want me to come home all the time. You want to keep an eye on me, make sure I am always okay, and keep me on a short leash. Sometimes, I wish you would.
If I could go back in time to the first thing that made me go sour, I would. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't wish time travel existed. Unfortunately, I need to realize that what happened was wrong, try to make amends, and move on from it.
I am not here to make your worries; more importantly, I am not here to piss off worriers. The fact that you worry so much, though I hate to admit it, means that you care. I need to start taking your yelling over the phone and reminding myself that it proves that you care. I have a million things in life that I want to do, and I want to do them fast; but you remind me to slow down, take it all in, and celebrate the little victories in life.
In no way am I perfect, and in no way do I intend to be perfect. You guys are just polishing a diamond until she shines, and I just want to shine as brightly as I can for the two of you. I say some stupid things, but I will always love you endlessly. After all, I made you the worriers you are today.
