I never thought we were going to end up dating when I first met him. He seemed so cool and acted like he was too good for me; I didn't even like him at first. Then, people around us started to comment on us, saying things like "I could see you guys together," or "You would bring out the best in him." We spent more time together and my feelings started to change. I thought that he felt the same way.

I was wrong. He went on vacation and he hooked up with someone. I was shocked and hurt but I kept reminding myself that I didn't have a right to be hurt since we never discussed our relationship. So, I let it pass. I told myself I needed to get over him because he didn't feel the same way. That lasted about… a month.

The feelings came back. We got closer as friends and I felt like we both knew each other on a different level. We trusted each other a lot more. Our relationship was different, healthier. I could tell there was something changing between us, but we both refused to acknowledge it. Soon enough, I started to get signs that he had feelings for me. It was so cute it made me hard to ignore the feelings I had! He would come in and visit me at work, drive me everywhere, or ask for my advice. This went on for about a month of us both just showing signs of affection but not doing anything about it.

Then, one night I brought it up. He dropped me off and pulled into my driveway and I was getting so extremely nervous. I asked him if I could ask him a question and somehow I got out the words, "What do you think about us?" He smiled and said that he thought we both liked each other. I smiled and agreed and we decided that we were going to go on a real date. After that, it was great. I felt like I had a real boyfriend for the first time ever. We never had a label and we never talked about if we were going to make it official, but I was okay with it because we were in such a good place.

Fast forward through our first kiss, through flowers for Valentine's Day, through meeting each other's parents and many other kisses and get to the rough patch. He got distant. Just all of a sudden I felt like things were different. Here's where our avoidance of communicating about our relationship got the best of me. I kept questioning the fact that I could even talk about how he has been different because I felt like he wasn't in a relationship with me technically. It hurt me, even though I kept telling myself I didn't have a right to be hurt since he wasn't "mine." This took a toll on me. I questioned my worth over something that wasn't even my fault. Just over the idea that we didn't have a label ate me up inside.

We separated and it was better for me. I felt more free, realizing that I didn't need a someone to determine my worth. It was nice being single and not having any to pursue anyone. I was happy for a few months and me and him had our own different lives.

Then, he came back around. He started acting like things were normal again, almost trying to start over. Then he started to pour his heart out to me, telling me that he still had feelings for me and pushed me away so he wouldn't get hurt. I told myself that this was my time to be honest with him. My one chance to have that confidence to tell him that he hurt me by distancing away from me. I told him I never felt like I was good enough for him. He apologized and we became friends again. I could tell he still had feelings for me and wanted to be with me, but what was I supposed to do when I was going to go back to college in a month?

So, he has to let me go. He has to understand that I had moved on when I thought it was time and I didn't wait around for him to come back. It's time for me to move on and he needs to do the same. Sometimes the timing for people just doesn't work out. Maybe it would've been different if I knew this earlier. Maybe we could've tried to become something with a label, instead of casually going through milestones.

Even though I got hurt, I learned a lot from him. I learned how to change the way you care for someone based on their needs. I learned what I need to do in the future to avoid this. I learned that sometimes letting go is the best option.