We're here again. Hell week is coming up, AKA finals. All of your hard work this semester comes down to this pinnacle 3-hour block of 'cumulative knowledge' torture. The week before will be filled with breakdowns, group study sessions, and endless distractions. In fact you should probably be studying now, but instead take a break and check out what is to come, as told by the great Steven Colbert.
1. The last Sunday before finals week
2. But the next day reality hits
3. When a brave soul in your class asks if the exam can be open book
You sit in silenced breath, but the inner-you wants to chant your classmates name and cheer on this ballsy kid. And once in a blue moon, some beautiful professor says 'sure,' and you realize there is still good in this world.
4. When someone asks you how studying is going
Inside you are screaming, but you respond with a simple "Oh, you know, it's fine! Almost done!" So please, just don't ask.
5. When your professor tells you the test will be cumulative AND short-answer
What in their past has made them so cruel?? Your heart and spirit are suddenly completely broken.
6. When you really meant to study but you go out instead
You've just sat down with your Spanish textbook when your friend texts you to meet her at team trivia. You can't let the TEAM down, so you go but you'll "only stay for a bit." 5 hours later, you have lost trivia, are a tad tipsy and still know zero Spanish vocabulary.
7. When you ACTUALLY start studying
Who decided to put letters in math?? Why is Au the symbol for gold?? What is the Spanish present subjunctive conjugation for??
"Siri - What career can I have without a college degree?"
8. Right before the final when you're hoping that the Slacker Gods will save you
Studying hasn't really gone the way you had neatly planned out in your agenda, so you are really banking on luck at this point. You slept with your textbook under your pillow the night before (you know it's a myth, but you aren't taking any chances.) "Dear Slacker Gods, it's me Margaret. C's get degrees, and that's all I can ask for right now."
9. The sweet relief of finally being done
No matter what happens, it is finally over. So treat yo' self to a cocktail, an entire chocolate cake and a Netflix marathon.
10. When you should've been studying this whole time...but instead you Google 'Stephen Colbert gifs' for 2 hours
And this is why I may have to repeat my junior year.
