I don’t know everything about love. In fact, I actually don’t even claim to know that much about love at all. I haven’t lived enough of a life yet to ditch my naivety and “love conquers” all attitude, and view things the way they actually are. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t have my own two cents to put in about the way I love people and the way I have seen people love other people in my life. Love itself is such an all-consuming and strange concept. It amazes me that the way other people love us and the way we see those same people love others around them holds an impact on our own personal perception and capability to love.
The way American culture views love is toxic in that it views the term solely as a synonym to “romance” and “attraction”, and that’s simply not true. It’s not only wrong, but it’s so unbelievably shallow to say that one human cannot love another in a way that is not romantic. Love, to me at least, is about a connection with a person’s soul. It’s kind of like this:
I knew I met my soul mate at six years old. Barely even old enough to write my own name, and I was positive I had found the person with whom I was meant to share my life with. In fact, I still am. And I’ve never once had a shred of romantic attraction with this person. And you know why? This person is my best friend, and has been for 14 years now. I fell in love with her kindness and generosity when we shared blocks during carpet time, and I fall in love with new parts of her every day. There has never been a doubt in my mind that we were meant to meet each other. She needs me and I need her and I will never stop needing her. But because I’m not attracted to her romantically, I don’t love her?
I also hate that because two people who claim to be in love are younger than some made up age limit (so it seems), older individuals will berate them and tell them it’s “not real”. What about that isn’t real? The love I feel for someone else my age is every bit as real as any other love I’m “allowed” to feel at that time in my life. I can love a significant other in my youth the same way I love my mom, my dad, my brother, my pets, my friends… Just on a different scale. There’s not any true limit or restriction to when a person is able to feel true romantic love.
And finally, while love is a great thing, sometimes it causes rifts between two people. Something I’ve noticed is that the way people need to be loved and the way people love are very different from each other. It is a common misconception in human nature that when someone doesn’t show us love the way we need to be loved, we worry the love is not there at all. I feel as though that is the downfall of so many relationships, even if the participants don’t even realize it. And the thing is: we’re all guilty of it.
We are all a part of the stereotypes and stigmas that surround the way we view love and what the true definition of the word means. However, it’s one of the most powerful intangible concepts created in the universe. Love is the thing to start and end all wars, love is the thing to make or break hearts, love is beautiful and terrible, and love is raw and real— all at the same time. I don’t claim to know everything about love. But I know I have loved, I have been in love, and I continue to love every day. And so should you.
