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The War On Holidays

Sorry to everyone who doesn't celebrate christmas

Courtney Seyl

Nov 28, 2016

University of Puget Sound

YouTube

Well, Thanksgiving is over (FINALLY) which means Christmas has washed over us in a tsunami of trees, Santa Claus', and jingle bells. Some may think of Christmas as the most wonderful time of the year, but little did they know that Christmas is actually a year long event.

Christmas doesn't ever end because when December 25th comes and goes, it just means a whole year of slowly building up to Christmas again. Soon, all holidays will just be Christmas. The media, malls, stores, and Wal-Mart have already started pushing out Thanksgiving for good, leaving no room on the shelves for the Christmas barrage once Halloween is over.

Even poor Halloween is slowly being pushed away as people are prepping for Christmas all year round. News Years Day will soon just be called "New Christmas Year", Valentines day will be "Heart Christmas", Easter is just Christmas with a bunny instead of Santa. If you live in America, Fourth of July is just exploding Christmas. Even days like Labor Day or Memorial Day will just be more Christmas!

What will we do when it starts snowing in August? When we hear "Jingle Bell Rock" in JC Penny in early June? Will this be the end of variation as we know it? Will every Friday in the office be ugly sweater day? Will mall Santas have jobs all year round? What will become of stores like Spirit Halloween? of Hot Topic?

I think its time we take a stand against Christmas. Stand up to the world and say "No! Christmas doesn't start until December 1st! Maybe the day after Thanksgiving if we feel like it!"

Its time we give November back to Thanksgiving! Make Thanksgiving great again!

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The War On Holidays

Sorry to everyone who doesn't celebrate christmas

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!