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The War On Holidays

Sorry to everyone who doesn't celebrate christmas

Courtney Seyl

Nov 28, 2016

University of Puget Sound

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Well, Thanksgiving is over (FINALLY) which means Christmas has washed over us in a tsunami of trees, Santa Claus', and jingle bells. Some may think of Christmas as the most wonderful time of the year, but little did they know that Christmas is actually a year long event.

Christmas doesn't ever end because when December 25th comes and goes, it just means a whole year of slowly building up to Christmas again. Soon, all holidays will just be Christmas. The media, malls, stores, and Wal-Mart have already started pushing out Thanksgiving for good, leaving no room on the shelves for the Christmas barrage once Halloween is over.

Even poor Halloween is slowly being pushed away as people are prepping for Christmas all year round. News Years Day will soon just be called "New Christmas Year", Valentines day will be "Heart Christmas", Easter is just Christmas with a bunny instead of Santa. If you live in America, Fourth of July is just exploding Christmas. Even days like Labor Day or Memorial Day will just be more Christmas!

What will we do when it starts snowing in August? When we hear "Jingle Bell Rock" in JC Penny in early June? Will this be the end of variation as we know it? Will every Friday in the office be ugly sweater day? Will mall Santas have jobs all year round? What will become of stores like Spirit Halloween? of Hot Topic?

I think its time we take a stand against Christmas. Stand up to the world and say "No! Christmas doesn't start until December 1st! Maybe the day after Thanksgiving if we feel like it!"

Its time we give November back to Thanksgiving! Make Thanksgiving great again!

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The War On Holidays

Sorry to everyone who doesn't celebrate christmas

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It's not all morning coffees and singing along to the radio.

You can't just go to your room to take a nap in the middle of your classes.

Having to spend all your extra cash on gas for your car.

Speaking of money, you probably don't have a meal plan so you're forced to scrounge up some change or mooch off of your friends.

It can be harder to maintain the friendships you make with people from class.

Finding a parking spot.

It can be harder to be involved on campus because between your one, two, or three jobs and school you don't have much free time.

When you try to be super involved on campus, it can kill your sleep schedule.

It's impossible to do homework at home, but staying on campus isn't an option sometimes.

There are surveys and events that you can't participate in because you're a commuter.

Group projects are the bane of your existence.

Traffic.

Your backpack rivals that of a survivalist trekking in the woods.

Driving all the way to campus to find a note on the door of your classroom saying class was cancelled.

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

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