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The Voices In His Head

Sep 27, 2016

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It is 12:03am. Your phone lights up on your night stand... "iMessage." It's him. HIM. But, then, you ask yourself: Tonight, which version of him will I be receiving?

Sure, we, as women, conclude all sorts of things about men; yet, we never analyze why. Believe it, or not, men have voices in their heads, too. What voices?, you may ask. Well, do these ring any bells?

1. HER.

Every man has his "her." You know, that girl that he listens to, no matter the circumstance, who he once loved, but wronged her (or, she wronged him); so, they stay around for one another, simply because... I, actually, do not know the answer. She does not want him, but she does not want anyone else to have him, so, therefore, you do not get to have him.

2. The Bros (who they insist on putting "before hoes")

First of all, we are not hoes; we are grown ass women. Now, that we have that straight, let's talk "bros": They, actually, can give pretty stand up advice, depending on their culture and circumstance, but they will always favor the girl, who treats their "boy" well. So, treat him well, and you will get the bros votes.

3. Society

Society is the voice in his head you should fear the most. Society will always tell him that there is someone better out there; the only trouble is, she is in the Michelob Ultra commercial, the cover ofVogue, and well... Megan Fox. Society will be your biggest enemy, as you fight the battle of voices in his head.

4. Momma

Though men retreat from their mothers on the first-day college, her voice never leaves their minds. "Open the door for her;" "call her back;" "remember, a smile can go a long way;" "be honest with her." All good advice, yes; let's just, hope he chooses to honor his Momma and not rebel against her stealthy advice.

5. Himself

At the end of the day, no one lies their head down on his pillow, but himself. So, only he knows how he truly feels; however, this will be the meekest voice.

Ladies, as you battle all of the voices in the room with you and "him", remember: You can love someone and not want to be with them. You can often love someone for all of the reasons they are not like you. You cannot love someone, who you wish to spend all of your time with. All anyone really wants is more: more vodka, more love, more laughter. More. And the more you ask of him, the more the voices in his head will crescendo. Tread carefully.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Voices In His Head

1. HER.

2. The Bros (who they insist on putting "before hoes")

3. Society

4. Momma

5. Himself

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It's Been a Long Winter Break

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2. Stop using the words "opposite sex" or "both sexes" or "opposite gender" or "both genders".

3. Ask people's pronouns when you meet them.

4. Use the word cisgender.

5. Stop saying "born a boy/girl" about a transgender or non-binary person.

6. Stop using the term 'preferred pronouns'.

7. Stop using a transgender or non-binary person's dead name.

Sometimes, we just can't help the feelings we have

1. Wow. My voice sounds amazing with this song.

2. Okay, if you can't sing, don't do it.

3. But wait, I don't think I can be friends with someone who isn't going to jam out in the car with me.

4. Dance part in the car! Even when I'm alone. Because every song is my favorite.

5. Stop light. Act calm. Be cool.

6. Yes! Green light! Back at it!

7. I don't know this song, but I'm going to sing along anyway.

8. Why am I not famous yet?

9. Being next to someone who can't sing so you feel good about yourself because you rock!

10. OK, I'm so good. I need to sing louder so I can help these people out.

11. My voice doesn't reach some of those notes, maybe I should sit this one out.

12. Randomly bursting out in song and getting weird looks because of it.

13. God, thank you so much for giving me a good voice.

14. Man, I feel bad for people who can't sing.

15. Was I just humming? Did they hear me?

16. Having dance moves to go along with most songs.

17. Not being able to stop yourself at correcting people when they mess up.

18. Maybe I should post myself singing.

19. Nah, can't do it. Dumb idea.

20. Having my own personal concert in the shower. Every single time.

Normal people wouldn't understand

1. Having time to nap between classes or at all.

2. Waking up 10 minutes before your class starts and making it there in time.

3. Making it to class in general

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7. Finding a quiet seat in the library.

8. Actually enjoying a class and understanding all of the material.

9. Having a friend to eat lunch with.

10. Finishing an assignment before the due date.

11. When there is free food on campus.

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2. Whenever someone asks to hang out, you're working.

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4. You work so much you don't have time to spend the money you're making.

5. You're too tired to function when you aren't working.

6. Finally seeing your friends and having way too much to catch up on.

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