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The Voices In His Head

Sep 27, 2016

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It is 12:03am. Your phone lights up on your night stand... "iMessage." It's him. HIM. But, then, you ask yourself: Tonight, which version of him will I be receiving?

Sure, we, as women, conclude all sorts of things about men; yet, we never analyze why. Believe it, or not, men have voices in their heads, too. What voices?, you may ask. Well, do these ring any bells?

1. HER.

Every man has his "her." You know, that girl that he listens to, no matter the circumstance, who he once loved, but wronged her (or, she wronged him); so, they stay around for one another, simply because... I, actually, do not know the answer. She does not want him, but she does not want anyone else to have him, so, therefore, you do not get to have him.

2. The Bros (who they insist on putting "before hoes")

First of all, we are not hoes; we are grown ass women. Now, that we have that straight, let's talk "bros": They, actually, can give pretty stand up advice, depending on their culture and circumstance, but they will always favor the girl, who treats their "boy" well. So, treat him well, and you will get the bros votes.

3. Society

Society is the voice in his head you should fear the most. Society will always tell him that there is someone better out there; the only trouble is, she is in the Michelob Ultra commercial, the cover ofVogue, and well... Megan Fox. Society will be your biggest enemy, as you fight the battle of voices in his head.

4. Momma

Though men retreat from their mothers on the first-day college, her voice never leaves their minds. "Open the door for her;" "call her back;" "remember, a smile can go a long way;" "be honest with her." All good advice, yes; let's just, hope he chooses to honor his Momma and not rebel against her stealthy advice.

5. Himself

At the end of the day, no one lies their head down on his pillow, but himself. So, only he knows how he truly feels; however, this will be the meekest voice.

Ladies, as you battle all of the voices in the room with you and "him", remember: You can love someone and not want to be with them. You can often love someone for all of the reasons they are not like you. You cannot love someone, who you wish to spend all of your time with. All anyone really wants is more: more vodka, more love, more laughter. More. And the more you ask of him, the more the voices in his head will crescendo. Tread carefully.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Voices In His Head

1. HER.

2. The Bros (who they insist on putting "before hoes")

3. Society

4. Momma

5. Himself

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

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"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

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1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

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3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

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5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

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7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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