The Validity of Grief | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

The Validity of Grief

Why It's Okay to Keep Crying

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The Validity of Grief

Crybaby. Whiner. Overgrown Child. Spoiled brat. Entitled millennial.

Chances are you've seen at least one of these terms used to describe the many angry and heartbroken young people who've been staging peaceful protests, using the #NotMyPresident hashtag, or even simply crying on their way to class in the wake of Tuesday's events. Obviously, people of all ages are upset--and have good reason to be-- but I've noticed that much of the backlash by the Right seems to be directed at disaffected youth, with some of cruelest comments directed at young people of color.

In the past week, I've had to listen to snide mockery about how young people these days need therapy dogs, hot chocolate, and play-doh to cope anytime things don't go their way; both anonymous faces on the internet and people I know personally laughed at stories of professors having to comfort their students and offering to push back due dates, treating it as proof of how oversensitive and bratty millennials are. They rolled their eyes at reports of Muslim students being afraid to wear their hijabs to school and loudly wondered when young people would start having some self respect stop embarrassing the rest of America.

While this attitude isn't exactly surprising considering who it's coming from, it doesn't make it any more pleasant to deal with. I know that for myself, it's been hard not to take some of these personally, as they're usually accompanied by a healthy side of ableism. As someone with mental illness, my emotional state is volatile even at the best of times; it's true that even with my medication and biweekly counseling sessions, sometimes I do require things like therapy dogs, hot chocolate, and play-doh to be able to cope when I'm scared or stressed (although I greatly resent pairing therapy dogs, an actual form of treatment that's recommended by mental health professionals, with feel good things like play-doh and hot chocolate). If I'm off my anti-depressants, I'm often prone to random fits of crying, even if I'm in a public setting, and at times require special accommodations because of my mental health.

I don't think any of these things make me weak, let alone spoiled or childish. And neither should you.

Regardless of whether you have mental illness or not, you are able to be upset and grieve. I'd even say it's healthy to do so. You are allowed to take the time you need, to do the things you need to do in order to process your emotions. You are especially allowed to take the steps you need to so you can feel safe in your environment. You have the right to protest and to speak your mind, and please don'd kid yourself--these Trump supporters are perfectly happy to remind everyone that the First Amendment allows them to do so when it suits their purposes. And while it's important to mobilize and be active, protests that are meant as nothing more than a way to express anger and dissatisfaction at our country's behavior are still valid and important.

There are always going to be people trying to silence your voice, and there will be no end to names they'll spew at you to get you to stop. In the end, that says more about their character than it does yours. They do not get to dictate your emotions or how you process events.

Be mad. Be sad. Feel so numb it's like you feel nothing at all. Don't let that be the end--God knows we have too much work to do for any of us to check out. But your feelings are yours. The Right may have control of a lot of things right now, but they don't control you and they don't control your grief.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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