The Uterus Dilemma | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Student Life

The Uterus Dilemma

Career or children? Can every woman be a supermom?

40
The Uterus Dilemma

When I came to the States, I suddenly found myself surrounded by a thriving nationwide dialogue on feminism and women's rights. In my 17 years of growing up in Indonesia, I had never once witnessed nor participated in an educated and effective conversation on this topic.

It was and still is liberating. Now, however, it's also confusing. On one hand, there are many progressive advocates for women not having kids, being career-centered and essentially playing the role that, for so many years, men have monopolized.

On the other hand, some take the more traditional view of prioritizing women's role as mothers and home keepers. They say that a woman's job is to take care of the children and the house and that this is in no way inferior to men's job of securing income.

The fashionable view today is that women should have the freedom to choose to do either and to do both, which is all very well until the obvious practical implications of this are considered.

Juggling a career and children is freaking hard (not that I would know, but it definitely seems so). I admire the strength, patience and time-management skills of the incredible women who do, including my own mother, but I doubt whether I myself would be able to rise to the occasion when the time comes. My mom seems to be more stressed out than she is happy, and it would be amiss to deny that both her motherhood and professional life require sacrifices from each other.

The simple solution to this dilemma is to pick one instead of both. But if I were to choose children, what if I can never let go of my ambitions and goals and actually begin to resent my kids for it? If I were to choose the career route, what if I wake up one day two decades from now feeling as if I've missed out on something beautiful? In other words, in both situations, I run the risk of the biggest case of FOMO ever.

At this point, all one can say is that each woman should figure it out for herself, that we all are different people with different lives and that, like clothing, there is no one size fits all solution. I mean, yes, to some extent that is true, but it still doesn't warrant dismissal of these concerns. Furthermore, there are some things that most women can relate to, namely the prospect of motherhood and the (lessening) disadvantages of being a woman in the workplace.

I am extremely grateful that I even have the choice to make. Some women are surprised with pregnancies at a young age and have to evolve into a supermom overnight. Be that as it may, I can't help but feel pulled in different directions by all the negative anecdotes of women feel like they made the wrong decision. It is true that the joys of both having a career and your life to yourself or raising a child are immense, yet the human brain was designed to have a negative bias and weigh the cons more than the pros. Not to mention the numerous other factors that affect this decision: spouses, financial stability, family background and even geographical location.

I decided a while back that if I were to have kids, the ideal age would be in my early to mid-twenties. I turn twenty in less than two months, and even though five years might seem like a while, it seems just like yesterday that I was starting high school. Additionally, I would like to have as much time as possible to plan things out if I decided to go down the motherhood route. Maybe (hopefully) I'm overthinking and maybe I got some things completely wrong. Maybe it's the unpredictability that makes life life, and we should all limit our meticulous life-planning tendencies and just roll with it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Relationships

The Unwritten Rules Of "Talking"

What is "talking?" How does one "talk?"

5390
girl holding phone
NYCPRGIRLS

Now that it seems “talking” is the new way to date, and will stay that way until another idiotic term is used to describe the people who can’t settle down and just date someone, I feel as if it’s time to go over the unwritten rules of “talking.”

Rule 1. Having feeling without feeling.

Keep Reading...Show less
The Stages of Having FOMO in College
iamthatgirl.com

Are you one of those people that gets super upset when you miss out on anything? Well, you may have FOMO, or fear of missing out. In college it’s not hard to experience FOMO every once in a while. You just love doing everything and anything, so hen you have to miss out on something it's the worst possible thing in your mind. Whether you’re sick, have to work, or have so much work to do you could cry – FOMO will hit you hard in college.

Keep Reading...Show less
Vivien Leigh
Revelist

I've lived a whole 21 years with an RBF (Resting Bitch Face), so naturally, I go through most of these struggles on a daily basis.

And before you ask, yes I'm fine. No, I'm not mad. This is just my face, so take it or leave it! To those of you who have been #blessed with an RBF, you'll probably relate to these more than you'd like to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Iconic Duos: Timeless Legends

From Luke and Leia to Beyonce's twins...

774831
Luke and Leia from Star Wars, a iconic duo
Lucasfilm

“Name a more iconic duo... I'll wait." OK, well, if you insist. In no particular order, here's a list of 100 iconic duos that seem to be timeless.

SEE MORE: This Is The ICONIC Disney Sidekick You Are To Your BFF, According To Your Zodiac Sign

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

A Candid Letter to My Best Friends Ex

Because this is the real form of torture you deserve.

1569
middle finger
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

What's up Asshat,

I've composed a list of things that I wish upon you, and they're harsh and cruel. These things are things that I wouldn't wish upon my worst of enemies, not even that Starbuck's barista who always screws up my order, not even him. You fall into a whole other category of hate. You surpass Starbucks barista. Congratulations, I'm actually a pretty nice person, making you worthy of every single bit of torture I wish upon you. What are these things I wish upon you you might ask?

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments