Therapy is not a one-way road and the road is not very flat either. If one were to replace "Therapy" with "Life" one would associate the new meaning with less stigma. However, they carry the same meaning because therapy is in fact life.

Therapy in its own right is hard. I don't just talk about rainbows and unicorns as I magically "get better" with my therapist. However, the tough blows that therapy throws at us eventually heal. Therapy, a word I am using a lot at this point helps me immensely, and I am not ashamed of admitting I seek help. Granted, I do not want to advertise it as perfection because it will not be the magic cure. But over time therapy will turn your life around in a very magical way. No, therapy is not something many people do. I'm here to discuss what many do not talk about: the ups and downs of therapy.

Therapy is a challenging road for anyone. You can lose a therapist you love, or hate a therapist and have to find a new one. And if you are hospitalized or partially hospitalized, you gain many therapists and lose them within a short time. It's challenging to connect with a mentor of sorts, and disclose your deepest emotions and your darkest thoughts and fears. It is true that you can have a very deep relationship with friends a family. However, the relationship you have with a therapist is one (if you are lucky) that is worth so much more than you could ever hope. I have a therapist who I said goodbye to yesterday because she is moving to Florida. We worked together for over a year, which for some is not very long. For me, she just about saved my life. I remember being chronically suicidal for so long and believing there was nothing left for me. These thoughts still come, but they are not nearly as scary anymore because my therapist believed in me.

Now I will have to move on. I will meet a new therapist, who does not know my story. She does not know my pain, and how can I tell her in a short time all the pain I endure and have endured for years? Therapy can be exhausting, painful, hard work, and expensive (let's be honest). But therapy is worth it. It will not cure you, but it will save you. Someone once told me that trying out therapists is like trying on shoes. You have to keep trying until you find the right fit. You have a say in who you see. You always have a say in who you see and your plan for treatment.

I encourage those who need help, or maybe do not even realize they need help to look in the mirror. You are beautiful, and receiving help to become what you want to be will change the way you see yourself.

If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self-harm you can call the National Crisis Line at 1-800-273-8255. I can say I have called them myself and they are very helpful and want the best for you always.

I wish luck to anyone involved in therapy, and I hope you know that it is normal for it not to be the smoothest of roads. Therapy saved my life and my soul. Much love, and good luck!