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The Unwritten Rules of Basketball: KU Student Section Edition

As told by How I Met Your Mother

Emily Juszczyk

Nov 14, 2016

Monmouth College

The Unwritten Rules of Basketball: KU Student Section Edition

YouTube

IT'S THE GREATEST TIME OF YEAR, AND IT'S HERE. COME AND CELEBRATE IT!

Basketball season is upon us and now that we're into the actual season there are some rules we need to address...

1. Don't woo.

We do not woo after "Rock Chalk. Jayhawk. Go KU." What does your woo really tell us? Don't be that way.

2. Throw newspaper confetti during the starter names, not before.

Also acceptable times for confetti tossings: the first basket or when Tyler Self makes a basket of any kind. (We've waited 5 years for his playing time in the last 4 minutes. It's time to celebrate.)

3. This is not the home of the Chiefs.

You are approximately 50 miles and a whole state border away from the home of the Chiefs. Stop trying to make home of the Chiefs happen.

4. Stop the woo.

Stop that. No.

5. When the alma mater plays, you sing along and you sway along with your new friends standing next to you.

It's not awkward if you don't make it awkward fam.

6. If you make a sign, make it original, and visible.

Invest in that chisel edged Shapie because I want to see the words from across the court and I want to see nothing like it before.

7. Seriously, stop that woo nonsense.

We are not to be known for our woo.

8. Know when to yell "tequila" when the band plays.

"Wait for it...wait for it... wait fo TEQUILA" What a stressful time in life, but you'll get it.

9. Have no mercy on your paper throwing, and take no offense when someone else's paper smacks you in the face.

You have about 10 seconds to rip up your newspaper, do what you must.

10. Do. Not. Woo.

Seriously.

11. Learn the clap, or don't clap at all.

3, 3, 1, 1, 3, 2, 2, 5. That simple.

12. Do not even think about wooing.

Have some dignity and grace.

13. Wear blue.

It's what we do. Sea of blue with pops of the small acceptable number of white jerseys.

14. If you know the clap, slow your roll. Stay on beat.

By the third set of 3 everyone in your row is on a different tempo, let's all get this together.

15. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS KU BASKETBALL STOP WOOING!

A little Jayhawk loses its feathers every time you woo.

Now that we've got this all established, let's rock chalk and roll out some victories!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Unwritten Rules of Basketball: KU Student Section Edition

As told by How I Met Your Mother

15. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS KU BASKETBALL STOP WOOING!

Subscribe to our Newsletter

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

Please hold your blonde joke.

1. "Is Elle Woods your spirit animal?"

2. "Is that your natural hair color?"

3. "Oh wow, you get good grades at school?"

4. "You must really like the color pink!"

5. "You’re probably not into sports, right?"

6. "You must have such a bubbly personality."

7. "Your wardrobe must consist of all things preppy."

8. "What sorority are you in?"

9. "You were probably a cheerleader in high school."

10. "You look like you’re from L.A. because your hair is so light."

11. "You definitely like Pumpkin Spiced Lattes from Starbucks!"

12. "Do you actually think blondes have more fun?"

13. "You must encompass the typical “white girl” stereotype."

14. "Is that daddy’s credit card you’re using?"

15. "So all of your friends are blonde too?"

16. "I’m surprised about you; I thought you would be a lot ditsier."

Do you have a small get-together or throw a big bash?

1. Your family and friends ask what you want for your birthday, so you give them a list of options.

2. You're super excited about your birthday the week before.

3. Your family flies in town to celebrate with you.

4. Your siblings wake you up.

5. Your friends are so excited to be with you on your big day.

6. If you work, your office might throw a party for you.

7. For your actual party, you plan a small get-together with close family and friends ...

8. ... or large celebration with everyone you know.

9. You eat the best meal you've had in weeks.

10. You devour the first piece of cake proudly.

11. You embarrass yourself somehow.

12. You get the present you really wanted but thought no one would get you.

13. You are a little sad about getting older.

14. That feeling wears off and you realize how happy you are to have family and friends to celebrate this day with you.

15. The morning after your birthday looks something like this.

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