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The Unwritten Rules of Basketball: KU Student Section Edition

As told by How I Met Your Mother

Emily Juszczyk

Nov 14, 2016

Monmouth College

The Unwritten Rules of Basketball: KU Student Section Edition

YouTube

IT'S THE GREATEST TIME OF YEAR, AND IT'S HERE. COME AND CELEBRATE IT!

Basketball season is upon us and now that we're into the actual season there are some rules we need to address...

1. Don't woo.

We do not woo after "Rock Chalk. Jayhawk. Go KU." What does your woo really tell us? Don't be that way.

2. Throw newspaper confetti during the starter names, not before.

Also acceptable times for confetti tossings: the first basket or when Tyler Self makes a basket of any kind. (We've waited 5 years for his playing time in the last 4 minutes. It's time to celebrate.)

3. This is not the home of the Chiefs.

You are approximately 50 miles and a whole state border away from the home of the Chiefs. Stop trying to make home of the Chiefs happen.

4. Stop the woo.

Stop that. No.

5. When the alma mater plays, you sing along and you sway along with your new friends standing next to you.

It's not awkward if you don't make it awkward fam.

6. If you make a sign, make it original, and visible.

Invest in that chisel edged Shapie because I want to see the words from across the court and I want to see nothing like it before.

7. Seriously, stop that woo nonsense.

We are not to be known for our woo.

8. Know when to yell "tequila" when the band plays.

"Wait for it...wait for it... wait fo TEQUILA" What a stressful time in life, but you'll get it.

9. Have no mercy on your paper throwing, and take no offense when someone else's paper smacks you in the face.

You have about 10 seconds to rip up your newspaper, do what you must.

10. Do. Not. Woo.

Seriously.

11. Learn the clap, or don't clap at all.

3, 3, 1, 1, 3, 2, 2, 5. That simple.

12. Do not even think about wooing.

Have some dignity and grace.

13. Wear blue.

It's what we do. Sea of blue with pops of the small acceptable number of white jerseys.

14. If you know the clap, slow your roll. Stay on beat.

By the third set of 3 everyone in your row is on a different tempo, let's all get this together.

15. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS KU BASKETBALL STOP WOOING!

A little Jayhawk loses its feathers every time you woo.

Now that we've got this all established, let's rock chalk and roll out some victories!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Unwritten Rules of Basketball: KU Student Section Edition

As told by How I Met Your Mother

15. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS KU BASKETBALL STOP WOOING!

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The struggles of having an RBF are all too real

1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

We all go through certain stages when we have a crush, Tina just explains it better.

That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

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