All through my adolescent years I taunted my parents with the line "I can't wait until the day I turn 18 and can move out of here" every time I didn't get my way. 18 always seemed so far away and it felt like I would never make it to that age but regardless, I was set on this idea that I would be out of the house and on my own by then.

When 18 rolled around and it was time to choose where I was going to college, I limited my choices to local colleges that I could commute to, specifically so I could still live at home. I knew at some point during college I was going to have to leave the house; I needed to learn how to cook and do laundry for myself at some point, I guess.

I decided that I would give myself two more years living at home and then my junior year, I would move up to Penn State, University Park.

Well here I am, summer before my junior year of college and I'm less ready to move out than I ever have been before. As move in day approaches, all of my fears of being on my own are racing through my head every day.

Of course I'm afraid of the small changes like doing my own laundry without turning my clothes different colors and cooking chicken without burning the whole apartment complex down.

I can no longer just walk into the kitchen and eat the food that is just magically always there, and instead I'll have to shop for it on my own.

I also can't just leave a mess behind in the kitchen and expect that it will disappear by the time I return to it. My mom won't be there anymore to do all of the 'behind-the-scenes' stuff that helps my life run as smoothly as it does. All of these things scare me, but eventually I will become accustomed to self-sufficiency.

The things that really scare me about moving away are much bigger than cooking and cleaning.

I have always been lucky enough to come from a family that is very close and I have always felt at home when I am with family. One thing I am afraid will happen when I move out is not ever feeling 'at home' no matter where I am.

Obviously, I still have a home with my family forever, and technically my apartment will be my home too. Yet, I still feel like my apartment is too temporary to really feel like a home rather than just a place to sleep while I'm at college.

Also, I fear that being away for the majority of the year and then returning home with my family is going to make me feel like a guest in my own house. Not feeling like I belong in my own house would be the worst feeling I could think of.

Another thing I'm afraid of is missing too much. The main reason I decided to stay home for two more years after high school was because my brother is only in middle school and because of our age gap, I would miss way too much of his life.

These years of his life are so important and he is already accomplishing so much that I could not even imagine not being here for him. I'm so used to cheering on the sidelines of all of his baseball and basketball games and being there to pick him up from school all the time and giving him and his friends rides place.

I'm afraid that me leaving will make him feel as if he wasn't important enough for me to stay. I'm afraid that something great is going to happen and I won't be there to see it from the sidelines like I always have been.

Even worse, I'm afraid that something bad is going to happen to him and I won't be there to stop it or to help him through it.

I know that by not living at home anymore I am going to not be there for a lot of things that are happening. When my family has hit some rough spots in life, we always struggle through it all together. The guilt of no longer being there to struggle with them is going to completely consume me.

I am terrified that while I am gone I am going to miss so much of everyones lives at home while I'm off doing my own thing at college.

As much as I wish I could stay longer, I know that it is time to move out. It is time that I learn how to live life on my own without my mom cleaning up after me and my dad protecting me from everything.

It is time that I take the lessons that they taught me over the years and apply them to my own life. Though the fear of moving out has been all that is on my mind, it is something that I must do.

Even though there will be long periods of time that I don't get to come home and see my family, they can expect to hear from me every day. My dad will get a phone call every time I have something that I need to rant about (which is often). My mom will get one whenever I need advice on literally how to do anything in life (also will be often).

As for my brother, he can definitely expect a phone call every time I find a spider in my room and he's not there to kill it for me.

Moving out on my own might mean screwing up a few loads of laundry before I get it right and getting lost trying to find the bread isle in the grocery store, but it also means that I will grow and learn.

I will make mistakes that my parents won't be able to help me fix, but I will learn from them. Though my head is full of fear of the unknown, it is my family that has prepared me for the journey that I am about to walk into and even though I don't feel ready, I know that I am.