Recently, I came across a viral Tumblr post that made me think about something I’ve never really given much thought to before—women protecting fellow women in everyday incidents of harassment and assault. The post, which first started with a girl sharing her experience about how a female maintenance worker chased off a group of men who were harassing her in a mall, soon became increasingly viral as more and more girls started contributing their stories—each of them starting with unsettling incidents or threats of sexual harassment, and ending with being kept safe by other girls, all of whom were complete strangers.
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Needless to say, this made me think of times when I experienced similar occurrences in my own life. Just this year, actually, I witnessed two girls at a bookstore cafe who invited a girl to come sit at their table and pretend to be studying with them because a male stranger, in what was clearly an unwanted approach, started harassing her with questions and comments about her personal life. I've seen girls at frat parties refuse to leave their friends with a guy until they knew she was completely safe, and I've watched as a woman offered to walk with a teenage girl, a complete stranger, because she saw a strange man walking behind her a little too closely.
For me, these every day, daily life instances—both the ones that other girls have shared on social media and the ones I've personally experienced—illustrate something most people never think twice about in their daily lives: the beauty of the unspoken girl code.
Now, when most people think “girl code,” they might think about that implicit rule about a guy being off-limits if he’s your best friend’s biggest crush or that requirement of always letting a girl know if her mascara is smudged or if she unknowingly has a serious wardrobe malfunction. But there’s something much more important and pivotal in the foundation of all female relationships: never, ever letting a girl go unprotected and undefended against any threat of assault or harassment. As females, we know all too well the potential threats in a world where sexual harassment and other acts of violence against women are still prevalent—and we know that even during the most mundane activities of our everyday lives, we often face dangerous and uncomfortable situations, from simply being catcalled in the streets to being the victim of unwanted sexual advances.
That’s why it’s important, more than anything else, for women and girls alike to always stick together. We need to watch out for each other, help one another, and protect each other from harm and danger—and always remember to have each others’ backs.
In an ideal world, of course, none of this would be necessary. We wouldn’t have to always text each other we got home saying that we’d arrived safely, or pretend to know each other when we really don’t in order to help other girls escape unwanted attention and advances from guys. In an ideal world, we wouldn’t have to go to such lengths to protect ourselves—and each other.
But until then, at the very least, these stories—and the many more we should hope to make—are a powerful reminder that the power of the girl code prevails.
