I never considered myself to be much of a feminist. To be quite honest, if a guy passed a remark about a woman belonging in the kitchen, I wouldn’t take much offense. It does not hurt my ego. Personally, I feel this doesn’t hurt a woman or violate her in any way, so I can get on with my life. I do, however, know many girls who get very offended by such remarks, and rightfully so. I always questioned my disconnect with issues such as the birth control debate, women in office, closing the pay gap and more over. Was there something wrong with me that I lacked such passion for these issues? Was I not a real woman? Did my mother drop me on my head as a child and my feminist trait got affected? The answer to all those questions is no. I hadn’t found something that truly struck my heartstrings. Something I could feel for. That was until one Friday night when I was lying in bed (yes, it was a Friday and I was lying in bed with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s in hand) when I scrolled upon the whole Brock Turner case. By now, I’m sure every college student and their mothers are quite aware of it. Within minutes I felt the pain of the victim, her anger toward her predator, her weakness.

I’m very lucky to say that I have never been in a situation like hers - it actually sickens me that I have to say, “I’m very lucky,” because rape should not even be an existing issue in this world, but it is and it’s something we have to recognize. She was torn apart both mentally and physically. Reading the victim’s letter to Turner really touched me. Any female who reads it can feel an instant connection to her regardless of whether or not they’ve been in her horrifying and saddening situation.

This connection is so real because we have all feared what she speaks of since the day we became full- functioning females. I am sure at one point or another you have felt uncomfortable walking down the street because of the catcalls you knew you would receive. Or how about your friends who were scared to dress too seductively for a night out in fear that IF God forbid anything were to happen they would be blamed because “that outfit means they were asking for it." Or the times you covered your drink so that no one could slip anything into it. Or when your mother wouldn’t let you go out to that cool college party because she knew there was a chance you could be taken advantage of. Bottom line: we’ve all feared it. Our mothers warn us about it, our fathers try to protect us from it, our sisters try to set a good example for us and our brothers threaten to beat any one up that looks at us the wrong way. So for the moment we feel safe, until we read Brock Turner’s victim's letter and we realize this is real. We realize that a mother's warning, a father’s protection, a sister’s guidance, and a brother’s fist isn’t what’s going to save us.

The sad part about this is that even after all of this girl's hurt and trauma she was put through, she had to have the media coverage show a totally different image of her predator. The person who did this is Brock Turner, now a predator. Unfortunately, media outlets referred to him a little differently. Words like “ALL- American Swimmer”, “Sexual Assault” and “Stanford Student and Athlete” flooded news headlines. If Turner had a different background and upbringing, perhaps these headlines would go more along the lines of “Turner Found Guilty in College Rape." Now that seems more suiting for the crime, doesn’t it?

Not only did the media portray a different image of her rapist, they portrayed a different victim. Brock Turner's victim was painted out by the media to be a girl who was asking for it. Imagine if you're a girl who rarely goes out and the one night you decide to go out you are raped. You have pictures on your Facebook from the three nights a year that you decide go out and those pictures are all that define your worth in the trial of your rape. Or what if you dressed a little sexy one night to make your ex boyfriend jealous? You took pictures with guys and posted them all over social media - to make it seem like you were going out more than you actually were because every slightly immature college girl tries to make her ex boyfriend regret breaking up with her. Like "look how much fun I'm having." Now this slightly immature college girl isn't that bad after all, however, the media would paint her out to be the deserving slut in the unfortunate case of a rape. This girl would be the "whore" who got what was coming to her and that is just the ugly truth.

Do you see the problem I portrayed with this scenario? It shouldn't matter if you were wild and liked to party and have multiple boyfriends. That does not make an individual deserving of having any wrong doing done to her. How do we fix this ugly truth though? The only way to stay safe is to stand up for one another as woman. We're not going to allow others to be judged off Facebook pictures. We are not going to slut shame. Unfortunately, we cannot rely on parents to raise good men in every case. To this Turner "Dad," your son didn't get any action. In order to "get action," something has to be given to you, willingly. NOTHING was given to your son. He took it. He took it without permission. Six months is a low price to pay for being evil and bottom of the barrel; period.

There, I've found my feminist voice.