I've often wondered why zombie movies are so popular. They're usually not very good; for every "28 Days Later" or "Shaun of the Dead," there are dozens of inferior knock-offs ranging from tolerable to unspeakably bad. Of course, that's pretty much the same for every genre, but there's something about zombie movies that people just can't resist (myself included.)

Clearly, the splatter factor has a lot to do with it: who doesn't love a good exploding zombie skull or seeing that character you've hated from the beginning of the movie being disemboweled, torn apart and eaten by a horde of ravening monsters? Zombie movies are, perhaps more than any other genre, the most visceral, the most plugged into that bit of the brain that runs our most primitive instincts. Their popularity is really kind of a no-brainer, I guess.

The violence is a huge draw. Not the graphic displays of violence so much as the justifiability of it. There's no guilt attached. The zombies aren't people, they're monsters; mindless, unthinking destroyers of everything good, so unloading a shotgun into their faces, or shoving an ice pick through their forehead is, by definition a good thing, a heroic thing. You don't feel pity for them because they're not people.

The characters in zombie movies are relatable. They're not superheroes or Jason Bourne, they're ordinary folks who find themselves in extraordinary circumstances and the best of them dig deep and find unknown reserves of toughness, or intelligence, or inventiveness that helps them survive, while those who don't have those latent talents get weeded out.

The worst thing, I think, is what their popularity has to say about us. They appeal to our inner narcissists. Think about it: In every zombie movie, the survival of the human race comes down to the survival of the main character(s), which are naturally the ones we identify with. Their (our) survival is the paramount consideration. Sometimes, you just have to hide while your buddy gets eaten. You don't have to outrun the zombies, you just have to outrun the slowest in your group. You (the main character) have to stay alive and that's really all that matters. Of course, when in the third reel, your buddy turns back up as a zombie you get to feel good about blowing his head off, because you're doing him a favor.

Which brings me to social media. Facebook, Twitter and other social sites have been turned into the lamest possible version of the zombie apocalypse. In this one, however, everyone seems to be a zombie, but no one seems to realize it. We all think we're the only human left (well, at least we're the main character; everyone who agrees with us is still human, but probably just zombie fodder.) We're the only ones standing up for all that's good and true and everyone else is either a zombie, or one of those weak characters who's going to get eaten.

We, alone, stand defiantly against the hordes of unthinking, unreasoning Hillary/Trump/whoever supporters, Black/All/Blue Lives Matter protesters, climate change believers/deniers, LGBTQ rights supporters/opposers, etc. The best of us post intelligent, thoughtful missives about why we're right, while the worst repost memes spouting propaganda that was disproved months ago.

We stand behind our barricades of bullshit, firing shotguns loaded with bile into the faces of the "zombies" who used to be our neighbors, co-workers, friends and family. We refuse to listen to anything they say, or to consider who they really are, because as any zombie movie aficionado can tell you, all it takes is just a little nibble and you'll become one of "them." Any acceptance of "them" can lead to a catastrophic infection, and then it's game over.

For those who once meant something to us, there's even the kill shot: we can "unfriend" them, or block them. Of course, we don't do it happily. We used to like them, but that was when they were cool, before they got infected and turned into lousy liberals, crappy conservatives or loony libertarians. We even still want to like them, so we warn them first, with our "If you support Hillary (or Trump, or whoever), you're dead to me" posts and we hit "unfriend" with a heavy heart, but what the hell, it was them or us. In the end, we can feel like we did them a favor, really.

I know, it sounds stupid. It is stupid. The only way to win this zombie apocalypse is for all of us to STOP BEING ZOMBIES! Stop yelling and listen. Think. Are we really fighting zombies, or are we just destroying ourselves? Because, unlike most zombie movies where the mad scientists who started the outbreak get eaten at the beginning, the architects of this steaming stew of stupidity, this gassy goulash of gullibility, are hunkered in their bunkers, enjoying the show and planning how to profit from it. Because they're the only ones who will. They've had a lot of practice.