I'll begin with a preface, as I usually do. When I began writing for the Odyssey, I never imagined that I would write the "truth", as it really exists; allow me to elaborate. Everyone has two sides, that which we show to others, and that which comes out when we're alone. Those who know me in my personal life are aware of my struggles with mental illness, but not to the fullest extent. In writing this piece I have a twofold goal: to describe my experiences in their most raw, unaltered form, and to extend a lifeline of sorts to those who feel the same way.
At the risk of sounding completely conceited, I've always considered myself to be an intelligent person. I usually articulate my thoughts in a clear and straightforward manner, and I've never had any issues with expressing myself once I've made up my mind to do so. And often, I'm asked why my life is in the state that it is: I'm not currently enrolled in college, I don't work, and I don't often leave the house except to go on short outings with my family. Despite any predisposition I might have to succeed, I find that I'm not in control of my own life anymore. I've been completely and utterly overtaken by Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Major Depressive Disorder (MDD).
While I've had depressive symptoms for as long as I can remember, I've developed powerful anxiety over the past couple of months, perhaps as another symptom of the aforementioned illness. There are millions of Americans with depression, and millions with an anxiety disorder, and all are capable of living life, albeit impaired.
Having both diseases is utterly crippling.
It's a constant, debilitating cycle that begins and ends with the same feeling of helplessness; depression wells up whenever I'm alone or feeling lonely, which leads me to want to seek companionship. However, strong feelings of anxiety surge in whenever I feel like circumstances are out of my control, which of course, is true the majority of the time I'm out in the real world. It feels as if I'm a prisoner in my own body.
If you know someone personally who struggles with anxiety, understand that they want to go out, do things, and be successful - they just can't overcome irrational fears. Be there for them, sit with them and let them do things at their own pace. If they're afraid, don't force them into doing something, but let them continue slowly if that's what they need to do. Having a support system was one of the greatest factors in learning how to overcome my mental health issues. You can help someone through theirs.
